Well, This is Interesting: Wizardthrone — Hypercube Necrodimensions Album Review

[Writer’s Note: This review was written and completed well before the incident regarding Christopher Bowes and the members of Gloryhammer. For those who don’t know, leaked private chats from four years ago have revealed the men to be racists and sexists. I do not want to open the endless debate regarding cancel culture, and at this time, their fate is undecided. After much deliberation, I have decided to leave the original post as is, but I at least acknowledge that I am aware of the controversy.]

When it comes to the very popular subgenre of metal known as death metal, certain household names come to mind: Cannibal Corpse, Behemoth, Children of Bodom, Arch Enemy, and more. Yet, being the uncultured, un-cerebral pig I am, I have yet to enjoy death metal at all. In fact, I only ever gave the second aforementioned band an attempt and I hated them. Since death metal has had such an influence on the metal community, to the point where most bands these days at least have a growler on backing vocals, I felt I had no right to be considered a metaller unless I could like a death metal band. And my most recent attempt is a new outfit known as Wizardthrone.

Wizardthrone entered our realm, in the midst of the ongoing, unholy pandemic. Sporting Jordi LaForge glasses, these wizards have graced us—unworthy as we are—with their presence… Their members’ first names are merely initials, and yet… one of these guys feels familiar. C. Hyperiax Bowes in particular makes me think of pirates and undead unicorns of war for whatever reason. Some individuals might glean other things, such as goblins, from specific members of the group. In 2021, they unleashed their first album, known only as Hypercube Necrodimensions; the topic of today’s post.

I normally despise death metal album covers for trying so hard to be scary that they look like nonsense. Fortunately, Hypercube Necrodimensions‘ art is legitimately awesome. The composition is exquisite, with a lovely combination of green and black. I can actually identify the image’s subjects along with its background, unlike other album artwork of this ilk.

It was my pitiful human brain’s fault for having any doubt in these wizards of death metal. Right off the bat, I was blown away by the incredibly intricate riffage that makes the subgenre appealing. However, Wizardthrone kicks it up a notch. In addition to the hyper-aggressive jams, they incorporate synth and symphonic elements as well. They even have a dedicated narrator. Hm… it’s like a more extreme version of Gloryhammer. I suppose that they could’ve learned from all three of their albums and made a whole album of their own in the brief time they’ve been in our dimension; they are wizards, after all (it’s not like at least one of them is actually IN Gloryhammer). 

If you watched the music video, you’d notice that their lyrics don’t have anything to do with death, murder, or various methods of torture. A lot of newer extreme bands have actually broken that stereotype (they just happen to be the ones that aren’t talked about enough), and Wizardthrone is one of them. They tell a lot of fun and nonsensical space opera stories, some of which pertain to the Wizardthrone they name themselves after. 

“Four billion years have passed and all we truly know is this” / “That astral deities still dwell within the deep abyss” / “Beyond the universal law of stellar entropy” / “Extra-galactic masters of mortal reality” / “The path we chose must soon me judged in kind” / “A quantum flux until the end of time” / “A black sun rising, the eldritch moon” / “Behold! Arise! Macrocosmic doom!”

Of course, these lyrics would sound like drivel if their vocalist wasn’t good at his job. Fortunately, that’s not a problem. With a more tenor and gravelly voice, Wizardthrone’s vocalist sounds both fluent and venomous. It must be really hard to have to speak our substandard, primitive language, let alone growl in it. Props to him!

~~~~~

Final Verdict: 10/10

As much as I loved Avaland and VEXED’s debuts, Wizardhtrone’s Hypercube Necrodimensions both met and surpassed my initial expectations. I know this is a hot take, but I would definitely claim this to be the best metal debut—and my new musical obsession—of the year. It’s incredible how they’re able to make death metal that doesn’t sacrifice extremeness in favor of accessibility (as someone who’s listened to Behemoth, I can say that Wizardthrone is at least as heavy as them, if not moreso). Even if you don’t like death metal, I’d highly recommend Wizardthrone. I particularly think that Christopher Bowes, the creator of Alestorm and Gloryhammer, would love this band. Wait… Christopher Bowes… C. Hyperiax Bowes…? Nah, that’s impossible!

P.S. No post this Saturday. I don’t think I need to tell you why.

Top Five Song Covers

Theoretically, anyone can make a cover of a song. However, it takes balls to make a cover that offers a new take on a well-known hit, especially if it ends up surpassing the original. For the heck of it, I thought I’d showcase my Top Five favorite covers. The rules are simple: I cannot reuse the same artist, both in the case of the cover-er and the cover-ee. Also, in order to properly gauge the cover, I need to be familiar with the original version. With that said and done, let’s cover the covers!


5) Ad Infinitum — This Is Halloween

Of course, I gotta have an obscure band that none of my readers, let alone most of the Internet at large, knows about! Well, I suppose I should tell you who they are. Ad Infinitum is a very new symphonic metal band; in fact, they only have one album so far. For a debut, their first album is really freaking good. However, what made me want to listen to them was seeing the track listing and noticing a cover of ‘This is Halloween’ from Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas

Gotta love a fellow Disney fan! Given the original song’s darker theme, metal is a perfect genre to incorporate into a cover. And, well, if it wasn’t obvious given my taste, I think this is a better version. Since the original is sung by multiple characters, vocalist Melissa Bonny sort of had to do some roleplaying. And guess what, she kicked ass! She’s a great singer normally, but this cover gave me new respect for her singing prowess. 


4) ILLUMISHADE — Into the Unknown

You’ve probably never heard of ILLUMIUSHADE, since they’re new and all. ILLUMISHADE is a Swiss metal band that released an extremely ambitious concept album last year, which just so happened to be very enjoyable. Similar to Gloryhammer, every member is a character in an original story that they made up.

Oh, and the song they cover is another Disney number: ‘Into the Unknown’ from Frozen 2! Knowing this cover existed is what convinced me to check them out, and well, it’s worth it. Their Guardian (good God, I hope I got that stage name right) does an unexpectedly good job of being on par with Adela—I mean—Idina Menzel (it’s as if metal singers are the best or something), and the heavier instrumentation obviously helps. This version’s a real banger, that’s for sure!


3) In This Moment — Fly Like an Eagle

I have praised In This Moment a lot, specifically for being the effed up American metal band that I wanted, but didn’t get, out of Slipknot. They have never stagnated, and have tried numerous approaches to their sound. This also includes covers of songs that don’t seem to suit them at all! They’ve done an effed up version of Billy Idol’s ‘White Wedding’ (with new lyrics and Rob Halford), a banging cover of Phil Collin’s ‘In The Air Tonight’, as well as a cover of Queen’s ‘We Will Rock You’ with guest singers.

For some reason, I really love their cover of Steve Miller Band’s ‘Fly Like an Eagle’ (a.k.a. Hot take: the only Steve Miller Band song I like). It maintains the trippy feel of the song, but with that In This Moment touch to it. The best part is that, apparently, this song wasn’t originally intended to be a cover of ‘Fly Like an Eagle’. They just did the music and were like “What if we made this ‘Fly Like an Eagle?’” In This Moment is such a good band, that they can put out amazing music by accident! 


2) Disturbed — The Sound of Silence

Why do I have something popular on here?! Well, because I actually love it for once! Disturbed has done a lot of covers, from Tears for Fears’ ‘Shout’ to Genesis’ ‘The Land of Confusion’, all of which were really good. But—and this probably goes for a lot of people—none of them beat their cover of Simon and Garfunkel’s somehow still relevant ‘The Sound of Silence’.

Seriously, wow, it’s really hard to describe just how good this cover is. One thing that truly shows a talented metal band is not how good they can be as a metal band, but how good they can be completely unplugged, and this song conveys that. The most unexpected thing to come from this cover is how amazing Disturbed’s vocalist, David Draiman, is at crooning, of all things. His voice is deep, sad, and full of emotion, even when he cuts in his signature gravelly sound toward the end. It’s absolutely incredible. It’s also the first time EVER that a song not pertaining to Disney ever moved me to tears. Literally; I was crying after I heard this for the first time. I don’t bat an eye at any Danganronpa character death, but for some reason, some metal band’s cover of a folk song I’m not emotionally attached to has me spilling buckets.


1) Epica — Dedicate Your Heart!

Does this song title not sound familiar to you? Translate it into Japanese: “Shinzou wo Sasageyo!” That’s not a coincidence. The winner is a cover of the third opening of Attack on Titan. In fact, Epica has a whole EP of Attack on Titan covers. Your favorite of these will likely be dictated based on how much you love the originals, and since the third OP was my favorite, ‘Dedicate Your Heart’ is first place on this list. 

Sometimes, I regret abandoning Linked Horizon, the original artist for the first three OPs, the fourth ED, and the fifth OP. I actually ordered one of their albums. They were my first ever symphonic power metal band. And looking back, they’re only an impressive band if you’re like the many twelve-year-olds who’ve never listened to power metal before, and got their first impression of the subgenre from Attack on Titan. After hearing Epica’s covers, I no longer regret falling off of Linked Horizon.

Epica does such good justice to these songs, that they become the originals. I believe everything about them is better than the originals in every way. The instrumentation sounds so real that it makes Linked Horizon look manufactured and fake. And of course, Simone Simons—who is pretty much a Titan herself—blows the original band’s vocalist into oblivion. Not gonna lie, my whole idea behind this post was for me to offer a sizzling hot take on one of the most iconic anime openings of all time.


Conclusion

Alrighty, that’s another controversial music post wrapped up! Apparently, we learned that Western metal bands should cover anime OPs more often. With that said, AMARANTHE NEEDS TO COVER ‘HACKING TO THE GATE’… uh… please.

The Me and Music Tag!

Oh, RiseFromAshes, what have you done, by tagging me? You definitely seem interested in the mindf*** that is my music tastes. Well, thanks for the tag! In case you’re new to my blog, you might notice an incredibly simple pattern emerge after the first few prompts. 

Rules

  1. (1) Link back to the original (Sophie @ Me and Ink) so she can see your answers and listen to the tunes.
    1. Oh god, Sophie, you’re going to LISTEN to this stuff? Looking at what she wrote for her own tag, er… Girl, just skip this one. It’s for your mental health.
  2. (2) For every prompt you choose to do, name 1-5 songs (you can use Sophie’s graphics).
  3. (3) Have fun and play your music LOUD!

Well, let’s begin.


For the sake of anonymity, I can’t reveal the exact state I’m from. BUT, since I am from the United States of America, so I figured I’d meet you guys halfway. If you thought I’d answer with ‘Born in the U.S.A.’ by Bruce Springsteen, then… Hi! Welcome to my blog, Weeb Revues, person who’s clearly never read any of my music posts before! 

There are a lot of songs about America, but for the sake of keeping this post shorter than a novella, I’ll only put two. Kansas’ ‘Song for America’ is a nice, long track chronicling the history of my [overly] proud home nation. Something that’s a bit more on the nose is Queensrÿche’s ‘Empire’. It’s a much more accurate portrayal of the U.S. than the ‘Star-Bangled Banner.’


If you weren’t freaked out by my previous entries… then, well, get out your holy water. My music tastes leave little room for love. I could include some Disney musical numbers, which I do love, but that’s not how I roll.

Two more songs come to mind, the first of which is In This Moment’s disgusting power ballad, ‘Sexual Hallucination’ (surprise, surprise, no MV for it), with special guest Brent Smith (I actually don’t know who he is though). It’s a sick, twisted little song that I should hate, yet it’s one of my favorite songs from them. Did you use your holy water yet? If you did, then you should’ve saved it for the other love song: ‘He Is’ by Ghost. It’s a sappy ballad dedicated to none other than Satan. Since I’m an agnostic, it’s no skin off MY nose! Your nose, however… I can’t vouch for that.

Sophie, if you’re actually reading this, then I’m sorry. You should stop now before it gets worse. Yes, it gets worse.


I don’t like dancing. However, I will select some songs that I would dance to if I enjoyed dancing. Fair trade, right? As tempted as I am to bring up Ghost again, I want some variety. Amaranthe has some very danceable metal songs. In fact, the vast majority of their stuff is perfect for dancing. Out of all of them, I feel like ‘Drop Dead Cynical’ is the best one to dance to. There’s something “jamming” about it, I dunno. I’m no dance-ologist, so I could be talking out of my ass here.


If you made it this far, then you’ll at least have some respite here. Since most of the stuff I like isn’t popular enough to be used in film, I will need to rely on music made FOR the film instead. And by that, I mean Disney songs.

I don’t even know if saying I like ‘Let It Go’ from Frozen is a popular opinion or not, since that song getting memed to death garnered some criticism. Well, regardless, I love it, along with ‘Into the Unknown’, ‘Lost in the Woods’, and ‘Show Yourself’ from Frozen 2. I also love most of Moana and The Princess and the Frog‘s soundtrack.

Of course, for the sake of consistency, I’ll end off this segment with something metal. ‘Crazy Train’, the classic Ozzy Osbourne hit that launched his solo career in the 1980s, was randomly used in the movie Megamind for what is likely no reason other than pandering to dads. Hooray, marketing!


What could I possibly put for this prompt? Metal is the exact opposite of calm in every way, after all. Well, fret not, for really talented metal bands can sound just as awesome even if they turn the rev down by a large margin.

The immediate example is an old track from Ritchie Blackmore’s old band, Rainbow. The track in question is called ‘Catch the Rainbow’, and it’s a very slow and strange little mind trip. This was back when they had Ronnie James Dio (a.k.a. one of the greatest singers of all time) on the vocals, and that man was as good of a crooner as he was a shouter. Of course, since it’s so old, there’s no MV to embed. Oh well, saves me some work!


In case it wasn’t obvious, I more-or-less have stopped listening to most of what I liked as a kid. I liked Heart and Journey, but the keyword is “liked” (past tense).

The longest band I have been an ongoing fan of is Rush, the classic prog pioneers. Like a simp, I started with the one everyone started with, at least after 1981’s Moving Picture‘s dropped: ‘Tom Sawyer.’ I don’t know if it’s my favorite Rush song, but it’s still a banger.


Pretty much any and all music from the subgenre of power metal counts for this category. I could write a book called 101 Power Metal Songs to Listen to Before you Die or something. Oh, that basic premise is taken? Nevermind.

The first band that comes to mind is DragonForce, the band behind ‘Through the Fire and Flames’. Or, if you’re a super-weeb, the band with “the guy who streamed with Miku and Kanami from BAND-MAID”. Since their enduring commercial hit overshadows their almost two-decade long career as it is, I’ll bring up one of my favorites of their newer stuff: ‘Tomorrow’s Kings’ (which has no MV to embed, sorry). I don’t know what it’s about, but it sounds vaguely motivational enough, and is one of their most pulse-pounding songs. It’s one of many that I think transcends ‘Through the Fire and Flames’.


I brought up a lot of older stuff up to this point, but to be perfectly frank, I don’t like a lot of older stuff. Unsurprisingly, I don’t really like much of anything in the first half of the Twentieth Century and earlier. In keeping with the spirit of this prompt, I shall give a shout-out to the oldest band that I actively listen to: Black Sabbath.

If you aren’t a metal-headed guru, then you wouldn’t know that they are one of the original pioneers. In terms of sound mixing, they sound dated as f***, but their ambitions are anything but. A lot of household classics, like ‘Iron Man’, are still really good. Oh, and apparently, they have a new edition of their fourth album, Black Sabbath Vol. 4, out this year. Don’t know what’s in it, but uh… buy it, I guess?


I don’t want to be that guy who reminds everyone about how 2020 was “the worst year in human history even though there were many far worse years” …but a lot of things definitely changed for the worse nonetheless, even if you exclude COVID. One example is the fateful day when the #BlackLivesMatter riots, following the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a White police officer (Fun Fact: the chief of police was actually Black but nobody cares about that detail), occurred… It felt like the bridges built by Martin Luther King were single-handedly burned to the ground… 

And I’m going to look like an idiot and a horrible person if Oceans of Slumber’s ‘Pray for Fire’ is not a commentary on that very incident! Let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that it is. I mean, the album it was on came out only months after all that went down, so. In any case, that’s one of the few songs to reduce me to tears. Last year was rough (thanks to the media), and this song was basically pouring lemonade, salt, and sulfuric acid directly into the wound. Oceans of Slumber are experts in making you feel like crap, and this song is one of their best for that reason.

‘The Banished Heart’, a slightly older track by the same band, moves me as well since it sounds vaguely hopeful toward the end. There is one more song that REALLY made me cry buckets when I first heard it, but I’m actually saving it for a future post!


I don’t really have musical obsessions. I believe that everything needs to be enjoyed in moderation, so that stuff doesn’t burn me out. 

Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t have temptations to listen to stuff on repeat. And of all the bands I’m into now, I have the biggest temptation with pretty much every song from Dark Sarah. Since you have a near 100% chance of never having heard of them, allow me to explain. Hailing from Finland, Dark Sarah achieves the impossible union of metal… with musical theater. Yes, they pump out heavy-ass jams with a Phantom of the Opera-like twist, and WHY ISN’T THIS A THING IN DISNEY YET?!

Also, literally a week ago to this day, I just got into a new band: the Viking-themed Brothers of Metal. They’re not even remotely the first band with such a theme, but they’re the ones I picked because, well, that badass name! I just finished their first album, and I’m already hooked. Is there some mistake? 2017’s Prophecy of Ragnarӧk is too good to be their debut. Oh, and yes, one of the members is a woman. DEAL WITH IT.


I’m not that great at lyrics (especially if I’m wrong about the aforementioned Oceans of Slumber song). But in my defense, it’s the interpretation that counts (thanks, Dead Poets Society). I have a number of entries, but I must bring up the discography of Rush first. Their drummer, the late and great Neil Peart, was one of the best lyricists ever. I could write a thesis of different Rush lyrics, and of all of them, I have to post the chorus for ‘Freewill’. It’s a relatable song that deserves to be in the motivational category, and it’s very apt for our “You gotta do what everyone else is doing!” society.

“You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice” / “If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice” / “You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill” / “I will choose above, that’s clear” / “I will choose freewill!”

I also love the lyrics for the pirate-themed metal band, Alestorm. The lyrics so authentically capture the feeling of pirate sea shanties, I always question if I’m listening to a cover. Allow me to include an excerpt from one of their songs:

“Hey, you’re banjaxed!” / “Hey, you’re screwed!” / “And death is coming for you!” / “Trapped on an island, lost at sea!” / “Shipwrecked you’ll cease to be!”

Another song with great lyrics is ‘When the Wild Wind Blows’, one of the more recent tracks from metal veterans Iron Maiden. I think it’s pretty timely, considering the reason behind recent events. Key word: “Think”. I could be reading these damn lines wrong!

“Have you heard what they said on the news today?” / “Have you heard what is coming to us all?” / “That the world as we know it will be comin’ to and end” / “Have you heard? Have you heard?”

Lastly, I’ll bring up a very obscure band that has recently released a massive banger factory last year: Helion Prime. They are power metal, with lyrics influenced by real-world science. Question Everything, the aforementioned banger factory, is a phenomenal album and I highly recommend buying it to support them (and listening to it to). Since it’s Women’s History Month, I’ll include an excerpt from the track ‘Madame Mercury’, which is (probably?) a salute to computer programming pioneer Ada Lovelace. Or NASA engineer Katherine Johnson. Or… well, in this context, all that matters is that it’s about a woman!

“Let’s hear it for the human computer!” / “West area warrior!” / “Pillar of justice and honor” / “Madame Mercury is here to” / “Fight for the dream and” / “take her place in the race to go beyond” / “the stratosphere” / “the highest tier to space!” / “Hold your ground, take a look around” / “It’s in your right to ignite” / “The flame that fuels the mind” / “Do your best, and you will rise!”


Well, this is a conundrum. I, more-or-less, don’t like anything in the charts. Epica’s new album, Omega, is in the charts. However, I’m still playing catch-up with them and I don’t want to skip three whole albums just for this post (it’s called O.C.D., F.Y.I.). Fortunately, Sophie didn’t specify that the choice has to be in the CURRENT charts.

Thanks to Amaranthe’s Facebook page, I learned that their first ever single, ‘Hunger’, actually topped Swedish charts a little over ten years ago (I’m tempted to move to Sweden if their tastes are THAT good…). Compared to the beasts they are now, ‘Hunger’ shows signs of a young, feisty Amaranthe that was still trying to figure itself out. But hey, I still love it.


Honestly, I don’t have many, like, life-based memories associated with a song. I think the first time I heard Iron Maiden’s classic, ‘Run to the Hills’, was back when I made an attempt to have friends as a lad. I actually went to their house (which I would never do now, COVID or no COVID), and watched them play the hip new XBox game, Rock Band. ‘Run to the Hills’ was on there, and I thought it was a really good song. But thanks to me ol’ mum, I wouldn’t get to listen to Iron Maiden in earnest for twelve more years. That’s a lot of buildup for a band!


I hate singing. I don’t know about you, but I wanted to smash my face into a window whenever we had to sing Americana songs in music class in grade school. So, generally, no matter how much I like a song, I will never sing it. I’m also bad at memorizing lyrics to even my favoritest songs (in case you couldn’t tell from me not knowing what Oceans of Slumber’s ‘Pray for Fire’ is about). 

But if I can memorize lyrics, I tend to mumble them at times. Remember Ghost? Thanks to their combination of disco, metal, and the occult, I find their lyrics to be some of the easiest to commit to memory. But in case you couldn’t tell, not all of them should be sung in a public place. ‘From the Pinnacle to the Pit’ and ‘Rats’ are fine, but I would get exorcised on the spot if I dared break out into the chorus of ‘Monstrance Clock’.


Honestly, I tend to go into artists expecting to like them. However, there are some times where I liked something more than I thought I would. UNPOPULAR OPINION ALERT! For instance, I kinda-sorta like the newer music of Evanescence more than their older stuff. I felt like they had the same angst as before, but with more class to it. I didn’t expect to like them at all, and the fact that I listened to the pre-released tracks for The Bitter Truth is… actually, I don’t know how I should feel about that.

Beyond that, though, I was legitimately bamboozled by In This Moment. The beauty of listening to bands in order is to see them change in a time-lapse-photography-y manner. I imagine most people started with Blood or Black Widow. But I went through their very normal-sounding first three albums first. And when I got to Blood’s titular track, I was hoodwinked. The change in style was one thing, but the other factor was that it sounded like a song from Slipknot, one of my least favorite bands of all time. Of course, since I brought up the lewd song with Brent Smith before, ‘Blood’ won’t exactly catch you off guard. Hooray, context sensitivity!


I can’t name an all-time favorite album! Aaaaaaah! I can’t even name several of my favorite albums, since this post would be double its current length. As such, I’ll just name my favorite album from one band I haven’t discussed at this point. 

The band in question is one of the most enduring (and still active) metal bands: Judas Priest. If metal was a religion, vocalist Rob Halford would be its god (since that’s, you know, his stage name). Since I’m me, my favorite album is not British Steel. No, it’s not Screaming for Vengeance

It’s their newest album, Firepower. 1990’s Painkiller was my favorite for several years, until I listened through all of Firepower. The album is, well, pretty much perfect. It’s classic Priest, but made with the experience one would gain by writing metal music for—at the time—forty-eight years. It’s too good for its own good! (F.Y.I. the below MV is of one of the tracks from the album since the titular track didn’t have one)


I hate music videos. “Hate” is not a word I use lightly. I think music videos are stupid, to be perfectly frank. I haven’t even watched a single MV that I’ve embedded up to this point (hope they actually worked). And I’m not judging something without the experience; I’ve watched a fair share of them. They weren’t so bad when they started out. It was a new field, and while they were stupid, they were corny enough to have a charm to them. But nowadays, with advancements in technology, they’re just as corny, but take themselves so much more seriously. We go from one half of the screen showing the performer and the other half being a sideways close-up of his lips, to the band performing in a warehouse while they spam particle effects and seizure-inducing jump cuts. And holy f***, don’t get me started on AC/DC’s ‘Realize’ video, where they decided to do the whole thing with a fisheye lens for some reason.

But in the spirit of the post, I tried to hastily come up with at least two remotely decent MVs to show. The first one is of ‘The Surprising’, one of the newer tracks from the classic hard rock band, Deep Purple. The video is done entirely in 2D animation, and I actually liked it. Although it reuses a lot of assets, it has a very interesting art style, and is chock full of references to the various album covers throughout their career. One of the best parts is that there really isn’t too much going on in it, unlike most music videos that hate people with epilepsy.

The other enjoyable video I found was another 2D animation: Disturbed’s cover of the Genesis hit, ‘Land of Confusion’. The artstyle is kind of “Don Bluth meets anime” and has a lot of that 2000s edge culture in it. It’s also “much more relevant today than it was then because I only pay attention to the media and politics at face value and none of the actually good things that happen in the world.” 


Conclusion

Wow, this was the longest tag I’ve ever done. At least I don’t have to tag eighty people; I can decide the amount. I tend to tag the same people over and over again, but I think I’ll give them a break. I’m going to tag some WordPress bloggers who are deeper in the metal hole than me!

…Is what I would say if I actually found ones that weren’t just news! I found two that consistently posted reviews, but other than that, I suppose I WILL be nominating the same people over and over again!

With all that said and done, it’s time for my first major hiatus! I’m taking a break from the Internet just to make sure that I do not get spoiled of the Attack on Titan manga finale next month, especially since it’s possible that the anime will actually end before the manga. My next post will be a review of Attack on Titan, so look forward to that!

When Rock Bands Got Angsty: A Musical Trip Through the Childhood I Never Had

I have made it clear before, but in case you’re new to this blog, I’ll make it clear again: I grew up with classic rock. Nothing else was necessary, and there were some legitimate reasons. First off, the first ever music I heard was from Journey, which kind of feeds into the whole “you’ll pretty much be biased towards media similar to the first ever media you consume” mindset (but in my defense, I’m actually not a particularly big Journey fan these days). The second and third reasons boil down to the same source: the student body of my middle and high schools. I hated them all, which is a typical thing for teens to go through. But I was also socially awkward, so I never joined their brooding circles or whatever. As a result, I missed a lot of the bands that came up at the time (plus, I would have a fear of metal music until I heard Black Sabbath’s Iron Man on a classic rock radio station and had my life changed forever). I was SO edgy, hip, and against the status quo, that I reveled in being an outcast by listening to something that probably doesn’t get many new, young fans these days: the aforementioned classic rock. I continued to reject 2000s music until Japanese music further changed my life by showing me that current music can be good. As a result, I steeled my resolve and used the power of Apple Music to take a trip back to the 1990s and early 2000s, and see what bands I would’ve listened to if it weren’t for my sheltered childhood. Results… varied. Just so it’s not about “me-me-me”, this post will serve as a basic rundown of five bands, in case you never heard of them or were considering giving them a try.


Attempt #1: Slipknot

“Wait, what are you hashtagging the number one for?” you ask. Well, you young’un, the hashtag symbol used to be a symbol that meant “number”, hence “#1” in the example. ANYWAY, the first band I tried was Slipknot. They’re incredibly popular, but being the degenerate I am, I only knew of them thanks to a line in Hotel Transylvania that actually made me scared of them for years. From what I’ve heard so far, it seems obvious that this band helped pioneer the new “edgelord” culture. According to the Apple Music bio, they invented a new metal genre, creatively named “nu metal” (SUCH EDGY MISSPELLING), which seems to be just regular metal but with angstier, on-the-nose lyrics about all the tortured thoughts and experiences teens go through.

If you’re new to this blog, I’ll make it clear that I always have a problem with teen angst, at least in the way it’s portrayed here in the U.S. I get that metal was formed out of anger, but that was… well… a more mature anger I guess? But in the case of Slipknot, it felt like they were a bunch of frat boys instead of grown men. I wasn’t really into them until their third album, which I’ll admit had some very good and varied music composition in it.

But the key words are “music composition”. The lyrics grow angstier and angstier. I get that a lot of teens can relate to the lyrics, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t written in “angst-enese” in such a way that makes me cringe. If you wrote out the lyrics of any Slipknot song, 99/100 times it’d look like a passage in a YA novel, and in case you’re new to this blog… I don’t exactly like YA novels!

To top it off, lead vocalist Corey Taylor has an extremely one-dimensional personality in his singing. He’s not bad… he’s just not good. When it comes to vocalists, little nuances in their delivery make all the difference. From iconic things like David Lee Roth’s weird banshee screams, to minute things like Dee Snider’s evil snicker before the first chorus of Burn in Hell, the devil is in the details, and Taylor seems to disregard that. His vocal range is either “brooding teen” or “screaming brooding teen”. Taylor does try stuff, such as ragged breathing and practically making out with his mic at times, but it hasn’t really gotten to me. It took me until very recently to discover why I don’t like his singing: he feels too human. When it comes to my favorite singers, there’s a distinct feeling of “This is an actual person singing this?” Instead, Taylor comes off as “This is an actual person singing this.” (notice the lack of a question mark?). Maybe that’s what he was going for? Anyway, I’m currently halfway through Slipknot’s discography, and in the process of going back through those albums to see if the band grows on me. If you can convince me that Corey Taylor is a really good singer, then I could probably give the band less flack.


Attempt #2: Disturbed

I don’t even remember how I know they exist. But thank goodness I do, because I’m finding Disturbed to be a huge improvement over Slipknot. They have the same angst in their lyrics, but everything else feels… better for some reason. One big factor is lead vocalist David Draiman. While he’s not top-dollar, he at least has some form of identity with what I can only describe as “his impression of Link from Legend of Zelda” that he frequently does in between lines of lyrics.

The thing that got me most interested in Disturbed was their covers. They do some pretty thoughtful remixes of some stuff well outside their genre, such as Tears for Fears’ Shout. These covers are great, and they help Disturbed to stand out from other metal bands.

Unfortunately, Disturbed seems to have trouble standing out from themselves. I get that not every song can be perfect, but a lot of them have kind of been samey thus far. I don’t know exactly how to describe it, but the way Draiman sings verses specifically sounds similar across a lot of their songs. But hey, if that’s the biggest issue I have, then that’s not too bad, especially compared to Slipknot! At the current rate, I’m bound to become a dedicated Disturbed fan.


Attempt #3: Dream Theater

I considered not counting them for this post, because they started in the late 1980s. However, they didn’t gain traction until the 1990s, which I judged would’ve put them just within range of my being exposed to them while I was in high school. Also, if I didn’t count them I’d only have four bands on this post and it had to be three or a multiple of five because I have OCD.

I only know of this band thanks to one of my favorite YouTubers, NintendoCaprisun. In one video (an episode of Secret of Evermore I think?), he discussed listening to this band, Dream Theater, and he said “it sounded like Rush”. When I was a teen, Rush was the first band I consciously decided to get into, and they were one of my favorites. And yeah… they do sound like Rush.

If you want fantastic prog-metal, Dream Theater’s got you covered. Their songs vary wildly in melody, tone, and lyrics and incorporate synth as well. However, my one concern is that while they are a prog band, they aren’t exactly a prog band. I get that there’s only so much a human mind can create, but prog rock- by definition- has to keep pushing the envelope, and that technically applies to the genre itself. Of course, I’m only at Dream Theater’s earliest albums, so that could change. But for the time being, even “faux-prog” is better than most of the crap that’s popular these days, and as such, I fully intend to become a Dream Theater fan… once I catch up to their umpteenth album.


Attempt #4: DragonForce

This was the first band I had never actually heard of until they came up on my Apple Music feed. Yes, the rock I live under is so heavy that I didn’t even know about the “Through the Fire and Flames Band”, nor Through the Fire and Flames itself. I only came across the song during TheRunawayguys Colosseum events, where The8BitDrummer would drum the song… just for the VOD to get muted. Because his other favorite songs were very… memey, I thought Through the Fire and Flames was the same case. But ‘lo and behold, as if it were destiny, I discovered DragonForce.

And boy, what a discovery! In a nutshell, DragonForce has an inspirational, heart-pumping, get-your-ass-out-of-bed mood reminiscent of Survivor, but with a touch of metal. Very fast metal. Part of me even thought that they sped this stuff up in post, but I’ve heard enough talent to know that humans are more than capable of playing like that (also, you know, the fact that The8BitDrummer did just that on a livestream). I can’t help but thump the floor with my feet (since I mainly listen to music sitting down these days) to their psychotically fast rhythms. Plus, their whimsical, positive lyrics, coupled with the members’ choir-like harmonies make any song from them feel like perfect background music for an epic, large-scale fantasy battle.

Of course, such a specific style is going to get repetitive; there’s only so many combinations of chords for this (and tbh the final chorus of every other song is done in a capella). While I’m definitely not complaining about hearing such ridiculous metal, I highly advise against binging their albums. With that in mind, I am finding DragonForce to be my favorite of the bands covered in this post. While some of the others might be more creative, this band has such a fresh identity that they earn a lot of points from me (also the fact that my favorite is the least popular of these five is consistent with my reputation).


Attempt #5: Evanescence

Okay, here’s a confession. I only picked this band for two reasons: one, to make sure this post had a clean five subjects, and two, to share the story of how I discovered Evanescence. Why should you care about how I found this band? Well, because it will likely make you cringe at me. Yes, it’s actually a worse discovery story than learning of Slipknot through Hotel Transylvania.

Earlier this year, around the time that the coronavirus was just starting to spread- before people went crazy over it- there was some sort of collaborative effort with Evanescence and one of my favorite Japanese bands, Wagakki Band (which, for some reason, hasn’t gotten that much publicity despite this event. Good job Japan; you REALLY commit to not promoting your musicians!). I don’t know what happened to that whole thing, but yeah, I learned of one of the most popular metal bands of the 21st Century via a significantly less popular band, when it would’ve been the other way around for literally anyone else in the world.

Assuming you didn’t click off this post, I’ll actually get to my reaction to Evanescence itself. I’m gonna come off as a hypocrite right here, because Evanescence is similar to Slipknot in a way. In YA terms, Slipknot is the brash, loud, and reckless male protagonist, while Evanescence is the snotty, depressed-yet-entitled female protagonist. In fact, Evanescence is so teenager-y, that I initially mistook them as the band that was hired to do the RWBY openings (cringing yet?).

But for some reason, I don’t want to have a cow over this band. The music is angsty, sure, but they kinda have a thing going with their combination of metal, synth, and a sad, sad, ebony piano (all you need now is the world’s smallest violin). Also, their lyrics are a bit more eloquent. To use YA terms, Slipknot lyrics feel like they were written by John Green, and Evanescence lyrics feel like they were written by Maggie Stiefvater. I don’t particularly like either authors, but I definitely prefer the latter (are you REALLY cringing yet?).

The biggest surprise is the proficiency of lead vocalist Amy Lee. While she’s no Ann Wilson, Lee is substantially better than most female singers of this generation. Sure, she might sound whiny, but I think it’s been established that Evanescence is a very whiny band in general. But as much praise I’m singing for them, I only see them in 21st or 22nd in my favorite music artists of all time; barely missing a spot on the big Top Twenty post I’ve been working on. But at this point, I only just started their second album, giving them plenty of time to grow on me like a YA novel that’s so bad it’s good!


Conclusion

For years, I’ve thought that the U.S. and U.K.- the pioneers of rock and metal respectively- have lost their touch. But to quote Genesis’ Land of Confusion (which is on topic because it’s one of the Disturbed cover songs), I can see the fire still alight, burning into the night (now I got the song stuck in your head). Slipknot wasn’t a great first impression, but I definitely found some solid bands, even if I come off as blinded by nostalgia for liking the most eighties-ish of the five, DragonForce, the best.

You’ve probably heard all of these thoughts before, when you were a kid and MySpace was a thing. But regardless, I’d like some feedback. What do you think of these bands, and do you agree with my thoughts? Also, what are other great rock and metal bands of this generation?