WeebRevues Top Five Least Favorite Japanese Music Artists

As much as I love Japanese music, I admit that nothing’s perfect. There are many artists that I’ve had to abandon, but mostly because I listen to too much music, and I just couldn’t squeeze them in. But sometimes, I straight up don’t enjoy the music itself. This list will showcase the Japanese music artists that I couldn’t enjoy no matter how hard I tried. Now you’ll get to see how much of a contrarian I am, for most of these artists are among the most popular Japanese singers in the world.


5) sakanaction

I really wanted this to be BABYMETAL, which would’ve made all five entries contain mainstream artists. But my feelings for them ended up being extremely complicated, so I resorted to sakanaction instead for fifth.

Normally, I love weird bands, and sakanaction is one such band. They’re more or less the Japanese Pink Floyd, and I don’t exactly like Pink Floyd. The band’s music tends to be very surreal and mellow, which isn’t my favorite combination.

But to be honest, it’s the vocalist who made me drop sakanaction. The actual song compositions do create some very unique vibes, but the moment that he starts singing, it all feels dissonant and messy. For some reason, I just cannot stand his voice! Maybe the dissonance is on purpose, or I just don’t appreciate some hidden nuance in the band. I’ve started getting into King Gnu and Queen Bee lately, who come off as better versions of sakanaction, and have more emphasis on rock.


4) MIYAVI

I started with someone more obscure. But noooow, you’ll start seeing some actually popular people.

“How dare you hate MIYAVI, you curr!” you exclaim (assuming you’re a fan of his), “This man’s helped refugees from all over the world!” Sorry, but, the music’s got nothing to do with that. In all seriousness, I did want to love MIYAVI’s music really badly. He seems like a really good person, based on what he posts on his Twitter. But no matter how great of a person he is, I can’t enjoy his music.

MIYAVI’s music comes down to very basic groovy beats with a side of synthesizers, and an admittedly sick-sounding electric guitar. The production and mixing of the music makes it sound really bee-bopping and loud, but it’s neither of those things upon closer inspection. His music’s not the worst ever, though… not by a LONG shot.


3) Hikaru Utada

You might not know who this Utada person is as you read this post… until just now, when I told you that she’s done songs for Kingdom Hearts. “Oh, she’s that person who did that song! But… I love that song!”

Thing is, Utada’s apparently got more to her name than Kingdom Hearts. She’s got over three million Twitter followers for a reason! But I don’t know what those three million people see in her music that I don’t. Most of it is very slow and… slow? Boring, too. Nothing of what I heard from her ever stood out to me.

But if there’s one thing Utada does right, it’s the process of singing. She’s got a seriously lovely voice; deep and soothing. I was also told by an associate that she does all song composition, production, and mixing herself. If that’s true, then Utada does earn at least some respect from me.


2) Perfume

I’m kind of cheating on this one, for Perfume was one of the first non-anime J-pop groups I ever tried to get into… like, eight years ago. I’m a different person than I was at that time, so I can’t authoritatively state how I’d feel about Perfume if I tried to listen to them now, especially since I only watched the official music videos then and didn’t have Apple Music. But based on what I remember, I can be DAMN sure that I would wholeheartedly dislike Perfume to this day.

Perfume is a chill techno group and that’s that. Their music is full of catchy beats and sci-fi atmospheres that I find to be very bleh for whatever reason. It’s not “ceaseless dribble”, but it’s not something that I’d particularly enjoy. There’s not really anything else I can say about them other than that.


1) Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

It’s one thing to not like an artist. But I cannot STAND when the marketing behind someone is a straight up lie! Kyary seems to be one of the most popular Japanese singers in the world, and I can only scratch my head in confusion. 

One look at any of her album covers or music videos will likely elicit a reaction to the effect of, “Holy crap! This chick’s so wiggety-whackin’-weird! I love it!” There is a lot of… er… otherworlldly imagery associated with Kyary. It helps promote her content while also establishing an identity to make her stand out from the rabble.

But imagery is imagery, nothing more, nothing less. What I mean is… her music is the exact opposite of her image! To be fair, I only listened to half of Kyary’s best of album… but I felt like it was enough. Despite how “weird” she is, the music itself is mainstream. So disgustingly, by-the-book mainstream. The songs are basic, with simple, catchy beats and no variance. All of this is dressed up by her unusual choice of lyrics, as well as the production of the music videos.

Call me a hipster, but I also dislike Kyary because I’m jealous that she’s more popular than one of my favorite pop groups, Dempagumi.inc. Dempagumi is what Kyrary says she is; wild, eccentric pop music. As I mentioned in this post, Dempagumi addles with the brain’s pattern recognition by always switching up the tempo to constantly keep you on your toes. Kyary doesn’t do any of that crap! The only good version to come from her is nano’s cover of Ponponpon eight years ago (that video is still up by the way, highly recommend checking it out)!


I don’t want to be a troll. I went into listening to all of these artists with full intention of enjoying them. But I simply didn’t. What do you think about the people I introduced here? Do you enjoy them, and if so, why? You probably have found some way to appreciate them that I failed to notice. Who are your least favorite J-pop artists? Feedback is welcome!

The Tale of Princess Kaguya Movie Review

Cropped out the poster of the movie

Just in case you haven’t read my profile, I’m gonna let you in on something: I’ve been intensely studying Japanese culture since earlier this year. And as such, I already knew how Ghibli’s adaptation of The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter, titled The Tale of Princess Kaguya, would turn out. And thank Jizo that I did! You’ll see why later in this post.

To sum it up, it all begins when an old bamboo cutter finds a baby girl inside a bamboo stalk. Since this is a Shinto story, he doesn’t bat an eye whatsoever at this find, and decides to raise her. Before we know it, bamboo stalks start oozing gold and his daughter is in the lap of luxury! 

Normally, I’d discuss visuals last. But since the paint-like art style of Kaguya stands out so much, I gotta talk about it first. My first instinct is to chalk it up as gimmicky. However, the implementation of the different textures of the brush, as well as colors, helps the movie convey mood and motion better than most modern TV anime. The simplistic designs also help make characters super expressive and movements to be consistently smooth and fluid.

But the question becomes: “If you took away the unique artstyle, is the movie still any good?” Narratively speaking, Kaguya is more-or-less a family drama of the “Kid just wants to be a kid but gets all of it yanked away from them on account of their dumb, money-grubbing parent(s)”, a la Citizen Kane. I personally don’t care much for family dramas as a narrative theme, and I only chose to watch this movie because of my familiarity with the original story.

And I made a good call, because otherwise I don’t know if I would’ve liked Kaguya otherwise. At two and a half hours, this adaptation of a folk take that takes about five or ten minutes to read takes its sweet time. Despite how she’s supposed to be rapidly growing, it takes about the first hour for her to actually become a teenager and for the core narrative to start in earnest. Leading up to that, you end up deathly curious as to what her origin is (well, you’re meant to at least), but find yourself just watching a kid just bumbling around with other kids for a while. As admittedly boring this first act is, I greatly prefer it over the alternative, which is to have the sh** go down within the first five minutes before you can acclimate yourself to her childhood. Because of this, it actually feels emotional when the aforementioned sh** goes down.

But the thing is, despite how expressive the characters are in the animation, most of them are very unremarkable. The titular character, Kaguya, is probably the only one you’ll remember over time. Like in the story, she’s a real rambunctious rascal, and merely wants to live out that Cindi Lauper dream of girls just wanting to have fun. Watching everything crumble around her is pretty darn engaging, as sadistic as that sounds.

Her parents are polar opposites, with the “bad” parent being the dad. He starts as this jolly old fart and becomes an utter ass in his hunger for glory. Fortunately, Kaguya’s mom still gets her daughter, but she can’t do much. Time period and all that. Most other characters, besides Best Girl Chubby Loli Servant, aren’t that interesting.

The background music is nice. It’s obviously traditional, old school Japanese classical instruments, and it’s very beautiful. I noticed, in the opening credits, that the music is by the same guy that did Children of the Sea (if only it premiered in American theaters *glares at GKids*).

One big issue I can see viewers having with Kaguya is its final act. I can’t even imagine what audiences thought when they first saw it. I mean, this movie spends almost two hours building up this big family drama, and just when it’s about to go down… from straight outta left field… POW! Sudden new development! But there was no way around it. Here’s a fun fact: that ending is canon. I’m not joking; this movie’s ending isn’t Ghibli taking any serious creative liberties; they are following the source material. From a narrative standpoint, it is a very BS note to go out on, but there ya have it. Maybe someday, Disney will do a fluffier adaptation and retcon it like they did with the Grimm brothers, but for now this is what we get. I would’ve been livid if I wasn’t familiar with the source material, that’s for sure.

~~~~~

Final Verdict: 8.5/10

It’s slow-paced, relatable, and cynical; no wonder it was so successful in the West! In all honesty, despite how good The Tale of Princess Kaguya is overall, I can’t easily recommend it. It is very slow, nuanced, very cultural, and that ending… Hoo boy! For all intents and purposes, this is probably the best version of her story. But movies are an inherently bigger investment than a cute little folktale, so the crotch-kick at the end hurts more than reading the original. It all depends on what medium you’d prefer. I’d recommend Kaguya if you want a reprieve from the cheapo anime that they churn out like Jeff Daniels in that disgusting scene of Dumb and Dumber, or if you’re studying Japanese culture and want to know about one of its famous folktales.