Now THIS is Yuri – ROLL OVER AND DIE Volume 1 Review

If you’ve read some of my previous posts, then you’ll be aware that I have not had the best track record with Seven Seas’ light novels; they just so happen to license some of the worst material I have ever read. The only one I’ve liked is The Invincible Shovel, and that’s in danger of becoming seriously repetitive. Other notable releases tend to be incredibly controversial, which would be good guilty pleasure, but some of them (such as Buck Naked in Another World) are so bare-bones and boring that I can’t enjoy them even for that! As a result, I had low expectations for one of their newest licences, a little series called *takes deep breath* ROLL OVER AND DIE: I Will Fight for an Ordinary Life with my Love and Cursed Sword. This was the needle in a haystack that I needed.

In ROLL OVER AND DIE (sorry, the official title is in all caps), a girl named Flum Apricot is chosen, among others, to defeat the Demon Lord. She has an ability called Reversal, which has all her stats locked in at 0. As a result, her party members treat her like crap until one of them sells her off as a slave. Just when she’s at the depths of despair, she stumbles upon a cursed sword, which- thanks to her ability- reverses its adverse effects and grants her massive stat buffs. With this power, she escapes captivity with a slave girl named Milkit, and sets off to live a normal life.

Critics have a word for scenarios in which an author tries so hard to make an underdog that it comes off as over-the-top and gratuitous: “torture porn”. That term is incredibly apt for ROLL OVER AND DIE.  Flum is constantly called weak, is unacknowledged by society, and is- multiple times- seen as a sex toy by random jerks. Everyone is out to get her, and when someone tries to be nice, it’s actually a Shield Hero-style ruse. It’s shock value, sure, but similar to stuff like Eighty-Six, it’s executed really well!

But a light novel is still a light novel. Instead of actually earning her keep through hard work like a real underdog, Flum has power thrown into her lap, free of charge. And it’s not only the sword; she frequently stumbles upon more cursed equipment by sheer coincidence. The story also does a good job at giving her plot armor. In one early fight, she’s literally cut to ribbons, but the reversed curse effect can heal her even from that. Typical OP protagonist stuff.

Despite this, there is one thing that saves ROLL OVER AND DIE from being your usual power fantasy romp, and it’s the fact that Flum is a girl. Let’s go over the basic premise again: Flum Apricot is given phenomenal cosmic power by pure happenstance. She befriends a slave girl named Milkit, who calls her “Master”, as if Flum owned her as a slave. Imagine Flum being a boy, and the whole tone of the LN completely changes. Because of how society is, we are more willing to sympathize with a woman who’s overcoming torment, but as a boy, she’d be a cringe-inducing overpowered protagonist. We’re more willing to look at a girl owning a younger female slave as two sisters, but as a boy, she’d be a misogynist taking advantage of an emotionally distraught young woman. Now you see just how important it is for Flum to be a girl!

Unfortunately, Flum being a girl doesn’t make her particularly interesting. For some reason, I have a track record of coming down hard on characters, and ROLL OVER AND DIE is no exception. Everyone involved is your typical fantasy trope, with not much personality, especially Flum’s ex-party members. Milkit is probably my least favorite character because she seems to only exist to be the dime-a-dozen “tortured waifu” that makes everyone cry when she says things like “Nobody’s given me positive feedback before” (so her name is Milkit because she milks the audience!). Her inability to contribute to battle seems to further cement this. The saving grace is a loli named Sara, who speaks in a Southern accent, and wields a mace even though she’s ten. She’s both cute and capable!

To offset the fairly lackluster cast, the plot has some serious momentum. It’s fast-paced, and neatly divided into “Episodes”. Developments that would normally be reserved for several volumes down the road are thrown at you right out of the gate. The tone of the whole series changes just as you’re getting acquainted with it, that’s for sure! There are a lot of genuinely great action and suspense sequences. And to top it off, excessive gore really brings the fun ridiculousness of the story together.

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Verdict: 8.75/10

I’ve finally found a light novel series that I think Seven Seas made a great call with licensing! ROLL OVER AND DIE is starting out to be a deceptively great franchise, and one that seriously needs an anime just to annoy people. Between this, Otherside Picnic, and Murcielago, I’m starting to consider the possibility that yuri is this secretly amazing genre… Anyway, I recommend ROLL OVER AND DIE if you fancy yourself some girl power!

Luigi’s Mansion 3 Full Game Review

Luigi’s Mansion is one of those series that I love to pieces, but cannot play well to save my life. In my years, I’ve only managed to beat the original with one of the worst ranks (something that you need to go out of your way to be so bad at), and never even finished Dark Moon. So, I was in for a rude awakening when a fellow associate (who’s just as bad as me) and I played through Luigi’s Mansion 3 for Nintendo Switch.

The premise, as always, is pretty simple. Mario, Luigi, Peach, and a couple of toads are invited to stay in a five-star hotel called the Last Resort, which is managed by the big-haired, hoity-toity Hellen Gravely. Turns out that she and the hotel staff are all ghosts working under- surprise, surprise- King Boo, and now Luigi has to save his friends again.

It didn’t take long to realize that this is the best game in the Luigi’s Mansion series thus far. First off, the Last Resort has an amazing atmosphere, and the ghosts are as brimming with personality as they were in Dark Moon, if not more (for example, each boss ghost has its own unique animation when you defeat them). This is further enhanced by the suave soundtrack. While not something I’d listen to in my free time, the soundtrack sells the hoity-toity atmosphere of the hotel really well. 

Furthermore, with only one titular “mansion” again, this game returns to the Metroid-vania format of the original classic. There’s a lot of incentive to backtrack to grab goodies, even if E. Gadd yells at you to go toward your objective. Unfortunately, the actual game progression is a bit linear, but it’s still better than the mission-based format of Dark Moon.

The Last Resort has some of the best level design in the whole Luigi series. Each story of the hotel has a unique vibe to it. From the fancy lobby, to the overgrown garden suites, this place has it all; even a movie studio and a natural history museum! I’d sleep in a lot of places in this game if they weren’t haunted. They pulled out all the stops with the creativity in this one.

The gameplay of Luigi’s Mansion has been constantly evolving, and here it is at its peak. Not only do you have the charge-shot with the flashlight, but sucking up ghosts enough will allow you to repeatedly slam them on the ground for a brief time, doing more damage to them than ever before. And you better get used to it, for now the littlest mooks have a whopping 100 HP, and they only get chunkier from there. There’s also a shockwave you can activate, by pressing the triggers together, which pushes ghosts back and can easily be followed up with a stun. It also allows Luigi to jump, and you will need this to avoid certain hazards.

The whatever-it’s-called that lets you reveal invisible objects returns, and it’s accompanied by a host- a ghost host- of new powers. For starters, you obtain a plunger that you can fire ahead of you. Due to the power of levers and fulcrums, you can suck on the plunger when it’s stuck to something, which enables you to pull heavier objects that you couldn’t pull otherwise.

But of course, the biggest new addition is Gooigi. When obtained, this guy can split off from Luigi and slip through bars and stuff. He dies in water, which is pretty much how they stop him from being OP. Gooigi can be controlled by a player 2, instead of leaving Luigi out like a sitting duck. The game is definitely more fun with a second person to be Gooigi, but be wary of player 2’s skill level, for Gooigi will sometimes have to fight tough battles all on his own. Fortunately, you don’t get an instant game over if he dies, and he can spawn back in really quickly at any time. Player 2 can also choose to warp back into Luigi at any time in order to not have to do extraneous tasks such as walking. Just be extra careful with whom you play with, because occasionally, Gooigi will have to save Luigi from certain death, which gives your friend the opportunity to not save Luigi just to be a troll.

Unfortunately, all of these mechanics are given to you within the first hour and a half of the game. After this is a whopping ONE upgrade, which is obtained practically at the end of the game, and is only used three specific times. This game definitely has the worst sense of power progression in the series.

Another flaw is that there is some required backtracking (i.e. padding). There are several instances where you have to go back to a previous floor and go through it again with no new mechanics (the second time takes you to a new room, but it’s like two minutes long). It’s annoying and destroys the pacing, but it’s not as bad as some of the stuff they pull in the Paper Mario games.

But hey, you’ll have to backtrack to all the floors anyway for the Boos. Finding Boos requires you to go to a room in a completed floor and examine the right object, similar to the first game. Gooigi vibrates in response to a Boo’s presence, plus, a room with a Boo will play a sick pipe organ tune to clue you in as well. But Boos are extra stingy this time. You only get one shot to examine the Boo’s hiding spot, and if you get it wrong, it’ll go to a different room and hide there. Pay close attention to Gooigi’s vibrations, and once you find them, the combat is the same as Dark Moon (except that you get to repeatedly slam them into the floor in an “Ora-Ora!” style). 

As is with series’ tradition, there’s money. TONS OF MONEY. But in addition to money, there are also five gems per floor. Most of these can be found on the very first visit to the floor, except for one that requires a later upgrade. A number of them are pretty stinking clever, but as long as you’re an experienced Luigi-er, it shouldn’t be too hard. There is apparently a true ending, but I have no idea what the condition is, besides presumably collecting every gem and Boo. Oh, and there’s a point of no return at the end of the game, and the game autosaves once you go through it. Make sure you copy your save file or make sure you have everything you need!

In terms of difficulty,  the game is about as inconsistent as a Super Mario game. Most of it is pretty tame, but sometimes it likes to thrust instant death traps in your face (looking at you, floor 10). Health pickups are pretty generous, but almost every attack does a fifth of Luigi’s HP, making him perhaps the most frail he’s been in the series. Also, the difficulty spikes right at the end of the game for some reason. The only time me and my associate died was during the final boss (and yes, it made me salty to not have a perfect run). While the penultimate battle is one of the best in the series, the final boss is a much poorer note to end the game on (which I’m probably only saying because it killed our perfect run).

On a last note, I must say that the graphics for Luigi’s Mansion 3 are amazing. Sure, I miss the survival horror look of the original. But this game expands off the cartoony style of Dark Moon and uses the Switch’s superior hardware to create some great moods with the lighting effects.

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Final Verdict: 8.85/10

Luigi’s Mansion 3 is a great game, but it’s not one I’d play again. There’s also the Scarescraper and Scream Park, but we felt content just beating the story mode (also, based on how it was in Dark Moon, the Scarescraper is rude). I recommend it to fans of the series, or anyone who’s wanted to get into it.

Lockwood & Co. Full Series Review

Covers of the books

The U.K. has had a history of really popular writers: From William Shakespeare and Charles Dickens all the way through to the late, great Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett. So, is it any surprise that also-English Jonathan Stroud’s Lockwood & Co. series is fan-freakin’-tastic in every way? It was a surprise for me, actually. I read Stroud’s claim to fame, Bartimeaus, over ten years ago. I loved it at the time, but since I was an impressionable teen and a completely different person then, I didn’t expect too much out of Lockwood. However, I ended up falling in love with it.

Lockwood & Co. is basically a British (therefore better) Ghostbusters. A mysterious event called The Problem (it’s got a capital letter, so it’s a big deal- Discworld taught us that much) has occurred. As a result, ghosts have been popping up everywhere at the spots where they died in life. Fortunately, there are agents who investigate the sites that ghosts appear in and send them back to the other world by capturing their Source; a physical object that they’re tied to. This series revolves around the titular Lockwood & Co.: consisting of agents Anthony Lockwood, George Cubbins, and Lucy Carlyle.

The basic narrative structure of Lockwood & Co. follows the Harry Potter and Percy Jackson formulas: Self-contained arcs within each individual book, which all help build on the overarching plot that comes together in the final book. Each one makes our cast investigate some haunted sites throughout Britain in two distinct phases: mystery and action. In the mystery phase, they need to study up on the history of the area and the people involved in order to deduce what the Source could be. And in the action phase, they need to go over there and neutralize the Source. 

Stroud’s writing talent makes this stuff really enjoyable. His worldbuilding is well thought-out, really keeping in mind how people would live everyday life with ghosts running around (and the rules are also very simple, unlike something like Keeper of the Lost Cities). He makes the encounters with ghosts genuinely terrifying and suspenseful. He’s also able to spend multiple paragraphs just describing stuff, while not making the pacing feel slow at all. 

But in the end, the real Source of Lockwood’s greatness is in its cast of characters, and this Source cannot be neutralized. Lucy Carlyle, our narrator, is a tomboyish and proactive girl who gains strangely exceptional communication skills with ghosts. The head of Lockwood & Co., Anthony Lockwood, seems to be an aloof idiot, but when sh** goes down, he knows what’s up. George Cubbins is the comic relief guy, but he’s really good at researching stuff. Interestingly enough, these characters’ greatest traits end up playing into their biggest flaws. Lucy’s excellent communication skills cause her to empathize with ghosts, perhaps a little too deeply for what it’s worth. Lockwood, on the other hand, feels the exact opposite way, and there is most definitely a good reason as to why. George’s fascination with ghosts from a scientific point causes him to make some rather stupid and life-risking decisions as well. But despite their different viewpoints, their interactions- for the most part- are amazing. Stroud comes barreling right out of the gate with that nonchalant, sarcastic British humor. However, there is also some drama between the agents. While some of it made sense from a story standpoint, a lot of it felt sitcom-levels of contrived. A particularly sitcom-y development at the end of book three made me roll my eyes, and as a result, the fourth book, The Creeping Shadow, ended up being the weakest in the series for me. 

Other characters outside of the main crew include agents from other companies, like Lockwood’s rival, Quill Kipps, and the salty spirit of a skull in a jar. There is also Flo Bones, Lockwood’s connection to the black market, and Holly Munro, who joins the agency in book three. Overall, this is one of the best casts of characters, of this genre, I’ve ever come across. Their chemistry is priceless, and it felt bittersweet to have finished all of their adventures. And best of all, no cringey romance!

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Final Verdict: 9.5/10

This is one of the best pieces of non-Japanese literature I have ever read. From its strong writing, to its amazing cast, to its British humor, Lockwood & Co. is an underrated treat. If you love Ghostbusters or Goosebumps, then I daresay that this is a must-read. Otherwise, I highly recommend it to anyone who just wants flat-out, high quality literature.