Top Five Song Covers

Theoretically, anyone can make a cover of a song. However, it takes balls to make a cover that offers a new take on a well-known hit, especially if it ends up surpassing the original. For the heck of it, I thought I’d showcase my Top Five favorite covers. The rules are simple: I cannot reuse the same artist, both in the case of the cover-er and the cover-ee. Also, in order to properly gauge the cover, I need to be familiar with the original version. With that said and done, let’s cover the covers!


5) Ad Infinitum — This Is Halloween

Of course, I gotta have an obscure band that none of my readers, let alone most of the Internet at large, knows about! Well, I suppose I should tell you who they are. Ad Infinitum is a very new symphonic metal band; in fact, they only have one album so far. For a debut, their first album is really freaking good. However, what made me want to listen to them was seeing the track listing and noticing a cover of ‘This is Halloween’ from Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas

Gotta love a fellow Disney fan! Given the original song’s darker theme, metal is a perfect genre to incorporate into a cover. And, well, if it wasn’t obvious given my taste, I think this is a better version. Since the original is sung by multiple characters, vocalist Melissa Bonny sort of had to do some roleplaying. And guess what, she kicked ass! She’s a great singer normally, but this cover gave me new respect for her singing prowess. 


4) ILLUMISHADE — Into the Unknown

You’ve probably never heard of ILLUMIUSHADE, since they’re new and all. ILLUMISHADE is a Swiss metal band that released an extremely ambitious concept album last year, which just so happened to be very enjoyable. Similar to Gloryhammer, every member is a character in an original story that they made up.

Oh, and the song they cover is another Disney number: ‘Into the Unknown’ from Frozen 2! Knowing this cover existed is what convinced me to check them out, and well, it’s worth it. Their Guardian (good God, I hope I got that stage name right) does an unexpectedly good job of being on par with Adela—I mean—Idina Menzel (it’s as if metal singers are the best or something), and the heavier instrumentation obviously helps. This version’s a real banger, that’s for sure!


3) In This Moment — Fly Like an Eagle

I have praised In This Moment a lot, specifically for being the effed up American metal band that I wanted, but didn’t get, out of Slipknot. They have never stagnated, and have tried numerous approaches to their sound. This also includes covers of songs that don’t seem to suit them at all! They’ve done an effed up version of Billy Idol’s ‘White Wedding’ (with new lyrics and Rob Halford), a banging cover of Phil Collin’s ‘In The Air Tonight’, as well as a cover of Queen’s ‘We Will Rock You’ with guest singers.

For some reason, I really love their cover of Steve Miller Band’s ‘Fly Like an Eagle’ (a.k.a. Hot take: the only Steve Miller Band song I like). It maintains the trippy feel of the song, but with that In This Moment touch to it. The best part is that, apparently, this song wasn’t originally intended to be a cover of ‘Fly Like an Eagle’. They just did the music and were like “What if we made this ‘Fly Like an Eagle?’” In This Moment is such a good band, that they can put out amazing music by accident! 


2) Disturbed — The Sound of Silence

Why do I have something popular on here?! Well, because I actually love it for once! Disturbed has done a lot of covers, from Tears for Fears’ ‘Shout’ to Genesis’ ‘The Land of Confusion’, all of which were really good. But—and this probably goes for a lot of people—none of them beat their cover of Simon and Garfunkel’s somehow still relevant ‘The Sound of Silence’.

Seriously, wow, it’s really hard to describe just how good this cover is. One thing that truly shows a talented metal band is not how good they can be as a metal band, but how good they can be completely unplugged, and this song conveys that. The most unexpected thing to come from this cover is how amazing Disturbed’s vocalist, David Draiman, is at crooning, of all things. His voice is deep, sad, and full of emotion, even when he cuts in his signature gravelly sound toward the end. It’s absolutely incredible. It’s also the first time EVER that a song not pertaining to Disney ever moved me to tears. Literally; I was crying after I heard this for the first time. I don’t bat an eye at any Danganronpa character death, but for some reason, some metal band’s cover of a folk song I’m not emotionally attached to has me spilling buckets.


1) Epica — Dedicate Your Heart!

Does this song title not sound familiar to you? Translate it into Japanese: “Shinzou wo Sasageyo!” That’s not a coincidence. The winner is a cover of the third opening of Attack on Titan. In fact, Epica has a whole EP of Attack on Titan covers. Your favorite of these will likely be dictated based on how much you love the originals, and since the third OP was my favorite, ‘Dedicate Your Heart’ is first place on this list. 

Sometimes, I regret abandoning Linked Horizon, the original artist for the first three OPs, the fourth ED, and the fifth OP. I actually ordered one of their albums. They were my first ever symphonic power metal band. And looking back, they’re only an impressive band if you’re like the many twelve-year-olds who’ve never listened to power metal before, and got their first impression of the subgenre from Attack on Titan. After hearing Epica’s covers, I no longer regret falling off of Linked Horizon.

Epica does such good justice to these songs, that they become the originals. I believe everything about them is better than the originals in every way. The instrumentation sounds so real that it makes Linked Horizon look manufactured and fake. And of course, Simone Simons—who is pretty much a Titan herself—blows the original band’s vocalist into oblivion. Not gonna lie, my whole idea behind this post was for me to offer a sizzling hot take on one of the most iconic anime openings of all time.


Conclusion

Alrighty, that’s another controversial music post wrapped up! Apparently, we learned that Western metal bands should cover anime OPs more often. With that said, AMARANTHE NEEDS TO COVER ‘HACKING TO THE GATE’… uh… please.

Ozma of Oz: Literature’s First LGBT Protagonist?

The Oz series has been an absolute acid trip thus far. Book two, The Marvelous Land of Oz, had a startling number of ups and downs, along with all the usual controversies of the time period. However, despite me insulting L. Frank Baum’s intelligence numerous times in my previous two reviews, he wrote a gender-fluid character: Princess Ozma, a girl who had been identified as a boy until magically sex changing back into a girl. So yeah, considering what Baum did to Feminism with the Army of Revolt last time, I can’t wait to see how much he offends a people that he didn’t even know about in book three: Ozma of Oz!

In Ozma of Oz, we reunite with Dorothy, who’s sailing to Australia with her Uncle Henry. After yet another cyclone, she (and a yellow hen) end up in the Land of Ev. It’s like Oz, but… worse I guess? Anyway, she has adventures and eventually meets Ozma.

First, I must once again point out the author’s note in the beginning. Like the previous book, Ozma of Oz was written because of fan mail. However, he wasn’t just compelled to write this book, but actually followed suggestions from said fan mail. It’s almost like a precursor to the Drawfee Show on YouTube, but at the same time, it’s like that guy in Bakuman who tried to write a manga with fan suggestions (and if you read Bakuman, you know how well that turned out).

Fortunately, the novel starts with what I think is the most hilarious development yet. The first monsters Dorothy and the hen encounter are these humans with wheels in place of their hands and feet. And they’re called… the Wheelers. I don’t know anything about Yu-Gi-Oh outside of Drawfee (and other horror stories I heard about the actual card game’s system being BS), but I at least know a character was localized with the name Joey Wheeler, and had a New England accent in the dub. As such, I imagined Dorothy being chased by an army of Joey Wheelers with wheel appendages, and it was quite a laugh.

Baum also makes another unintended prophecy. Forget Orson Scott Card and Philip K. Dick; Baum was the first to predict social media, in the form of a robot named… Tiktok. Yes, spelled that exact same way. Tiktok. 

Baum once again had the opportunity to go further, with the potential to beat Isaac Asimov to the punch. But alas, he drops the ball pretty much the instant Tiktok is introduced. It is explicitly and repeatedly stated that Tiktok isn’t alive, despite the fact that he literally has a setting dedicated to thought. As someone who’s seen the Data episode of Star Trek Next Generation, I groaned at this cop-out. I mean c’mon! I’m pretty sure the phrase “I think, therefore I am” was at least established at the time! It seems someone hasn’t learned from Jack Pumpkinhead in the previous book.

But wait, there’s more! Baum screws up again thanks to the aforementioned pee-colored poultry. The Ozma reveal was brilliant, but the yellow hen ruins it. The hen is a female, and is named Bill. While that in itself is still cool, Dorothy is disgusted by the concept and insists on calling the hen Billina. Why does Baum do this?! If he was just as uncomfortable with breaking gender conventions as anyone else in the 1900’s, then why did he have the Ozma thing in the first place?! This also applies to the sexism issue from the previous book. After I made that post, I remembered that he also had Dorothy kill the Wicked Witch of the West herself in the first book; a real act of Feminism, yet he quashes it in the sequel! I know that most old books are sexist, racist, etc., but at the least they’re consistent.

At least Baum managed to predict one thing properly: How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The main antagonist of the novel is the Nome King, who turned the royal family of Ev into antiques since the old king literally pawned them off to him. While the Nomes are arguably a precursor to the dwarves from a novel that wouldn’t be published until forty-three years later, they are most definitely a precursor to the Grinch. The illustrations show them as green fuzzy humanoids; just like the Grinch! I’ll also admit that the Nome Kingdom is the most creative setting yet… is what I would say if we got to see it for more than five minutes. OH! At the very least, Baum predicted Gundam with the giant robot guarding the entrance!

Here we go… the cast, who are about as awful as ever. If you couldn’t tell from the Billina thing earlier, I officially hate Dorothy now (not like I enjoyed her before). Scarecrow, Tin Woodman, and Lion come back, but they are pretty much unchanged. Tiktok is also a pile of crap. He’s not just unutilized potential, as discussed before, but he’s about as inconsistent as Baum’s policy towards Feminism. Tiktok says that he cannot harm anything, but ends up doing most of the fighting throughout the novel. YOU HAD ONE JOB, BAUM. 

Fortunately, we have a silver lining. Billina is a pretty decent character, despite caving in to Dorothy changing her name. She’s sarcastic, and lays eggs whenever she darn well feels like it. Additionally, the Nome King ends up being the most interesting antagonist yet, mainly because he’s NOT one-dimensionally evil like a Saturday morning cartoon villain. He’s honest and reasonable, but is also a bit sadistic, given the challenge he gives Dorothy and Co. to save the Evs. Unfortunately, Baum drops the ball by making him 180 into a Saturday morning cartoon villain during the climax. At least he’s learning?

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Final Verdict: 6.95/10

Just a little more, and I’ll rate an Oz book at a seven or above (unless they start to degrade from here)! Ozma of Oz was a lot more creative than previous volumes, even if it still pales in comparison to some modern stuff (and Tolkien). It looks like I’m in it for the long haul for sure. Wish me luck (I’m gonna need it)!

Attack on Titan: A Mainstream Series That I… Love?

Preface: If you’re wondering how I already have a review of Attack on Titan the day after it finished, don’t worry; I didn’t pirate it! There are official channels through which to finish this manga right now, at least in the U.S. One is to read the last leg of it on Crunchyroll’s manga tab that they actually updated after the death of Flash even though most people never use it. Alternatively, you can buy the remaining chapters on BookWalker for about 2 USD each. Of course, you’ll have to have read all thirty-two currently published U.S. releases for it to work. But you know what, at least you’d be supporting the actual creator!


There are types of stories that have existed since the dawn of man. Romance, for example, as full of BS as it is, is one of the most enduring story types of all time. Stories like Hajime Isayama’s Attack on Titan are insanely common; plucky teens thrust into a world of strife against some “mysterious enemy” that the main character “happens” to be “special” enough to save the world from. However, Attack on Titan is probably one of the best variations of this story ever created. And here’s why.

The plot is nothing new. We have the Titans—the “mysterious enemy”—ravaging mankind and driving them into hiding behind some walls (“But what about the possibility of an AERIAL ATTACK?!” Squidward Tentacles exclaims). After the designated first-chapter-death, the “plucky teens” join the designated “cool fighter people” and, well, fight the Titans.

I’m gonna tell you straight. You likely already know what’s going to happen, thankfully minus the dumb romance sideplot. As much as this series excels at foreshadowing and build-up, you don’t need it. If you’ve read stuff like this before, then you can probably make several ballpark guesses on what the low-down of this manga’s world is and at least one guess would probably be correct.

But you know what, strong execution beats lack of originality. The rules of how the different units of the military work are all thought out (even if the Survey Corps are the only ones who matter), the “parkour gear” or whatever it’s called is one of the coolest things I have ever seen, and there’s always something engaging going on in terms of plot progress. Even during a later arc that is notorious for its utter lack of Titan combat, the manga consistently keeps the momentum going.

Most of the time, I’m not a fan of “human” characters. But unlike cardboard boxes such as Rimuru Tempest from TenSura, Isayama actually seems to understand the definition OF a human being in the first place, especially what it’s like to be a teenager who has to live in a world of despair, and to have their perception of their established facts of life turned upside down numerous times. Wow, that was all one sentence…

First off, the three main characters—Eren, Armin, and Mikasa—somehow manage to maintain a relatively platonic relationship throughout the whole series. Two male characters and one female character, all of which are childhood friends, is a perfect love triangle, and any [bad] YA author would’ve done it in a heartbeat and ruined the story forever. Mikasa clearly has some level of “thing”-ness for Eren, but it’s seldom ham-fisted into your face but instead shown visually merely by the scarf that she wears; a gift from him when they first met. The fourth main character is Best Boy Levi, who is raw badassery and intellect rolled into one handsome boy. What’s there to dislike? The supporting cast is also phenomenal. From gambit-happy Erwin Smith, to potato-eating Sasha Blouse, to Actual Best Girl Krista, these kids are surprisingly easy to love.

This manga warrants a reread, because re-experiencing the story by watching the anime from the beginning, after having read past chapter ninety, really shows how organically they have developed over time. I cringed at the first episode, at Eren’s incessant whining, thinking, “Is this really the SAME GUY who I grew emotionally attached to?” THIS is character development at its finest.

“Rough around the edges” is an understatement for the art in this manga. Based on the “rules of art” that have been established over the years, Attack on Titan has “objectively” bad art. It’s not smooth nor crisp, but for me, it somehow “works” (It’s as if art was never meant to be assigned rules to begin with…).

If there is one “rule of art” that it follows, it’s gesture drawing. The many (MANY) tiny strokes in Isayama’s technique helps to convey motion in a spectacular fashion. I didn’t need the anime’s sakuga to feel the force of the parkour gear as our intrepid heroes flew through cities and forests, striking Titans as they went. All this in addition to his great sense of good panelwork makes Attack on Titan a tightly paced read. Not even the dialogue-driven chapters feel like a waste of time.

For the last paragraph, I’ll touch on the one thing that always ends up being divisive for long-running battle shounen series: the final act. Don’t worry; I’ll word it in the least spoilery way possible. Late-ish in Attack on Titan, an epic battle—one of the best in the series—unfolds in spectacular glory. But the aftermath opens up a can of worms that drastically changes the entire tone of the manga. Although it is still a great arc, the biggest problem is that it introduces a metric ton of new characters that I honestly didn’t care about, let alone remember their names in the first place. It also didn’t help that this was the arc where I had caught up on the most recent chapters, and ended up playing the waiting game most often. Since I’m always pressed for time, I can’t reread volumes to make sure I still remember stuff. 

And honestly, like a lot of long battle shounen, the plot gets pretty complicated. There’s even the possibility that it was retconned at some point. But you know what, I still love this manga to death. You gotta give mangakas some benefit of the doubt, since a lot of them are forced to make this stuff up as they go along. No matter how confusing it got, I still loved Attack on Titan all the way through. Isayama knows how to make a story feel engaging regardless of what’s happening. That takes talent.

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Final Verdict: 9.8/10

Attack on Titan is one of my favorite manga of all time. Isayama draws (no pun intended) influence from the very best of Western culture, without using any of the BS, to make a fantastic battle shounen series that miraculously maintains a consistent state of cohesion for a decade-long runtime. I’d recommend it if you want a shounen series that’s light on the fanservice, but I also just recommend it in general. The biggest issue will likely be the art if it doesn’t suit your tastes, but other than that this manga is a masterpiece through and through.

Can We Call Them Metal Now?: BAND-MAID — Unseen World Album Review

I’ve been following BAND-MAID for a while. In fact, I’ve been following them long enough to be considered a fan before it was cool. At this point, they’ve been getting pretty damn big, considering that Japanese record labels seem to have low priority in international appeal (and the fact that COVID does not want them to perform at Budokan ever). 

Fortunately, not even a pandemic can stop them from somehow putting out a full-length studio album on an almost annual basis. 2021’s Unseen World is their SEVENTH album. I know bands that have been around for longer who have fewer albums. While that seems like they have a quantity-over-quality approach, BAND-MAID has proven to be only getting better with each release. And, to no surprise, Unseen World is their heaviest album yet.

If you’ve somehow clicked this article without knowing about BAND-MAID, then I should inform you (also, it’s more professional to provide a bio of the band before going over the album itself). BAND-MAID was formed in 2013 by Miku Kobato with the gimmick of all the members wearing French maid outfits. This is meant to contrast with a very heavy hard rock sound. Their big break was their 2019 album, CONQUEROR, which featured a track produced by David Bowie’s original producer, Tony Visconti. Another, more recent boost was when Kobato and guitarist Kanami Tono were guests on DragonForce guitarist Herman Li’s Twitch channel back in February.

First off, good God, that album cover is terrifying. Hands have been one of my weaknesses when it comes to horror imagery, and Unseen World is no exception. I have no idea whose idea it was to have that for an album cover. Furthermore, I have no idea if I want to praise or criticize them for it.

Anyhow, Unseen World kicks booty butt cheeks. The first track, ‘Warning!’, starts out with a whimsical and happy symphonic sequence before kicking into the heaviest rock sound that BAND-MAID has to offer. And when I say heavy, I mean metal. It doesn’t sound that much different from their usual style, but something about this album (literally) screams “metal” to me. Each and every track is a blast to hear.

If there is any issue with the record, it’s that it seems to confirm that BAND-MAID is at its best only when it comes to unhinged hard rock. Unseen World doesn’t have a single ballad, and I admit that I found those to be a weak spot for them in their past albums. As much as I like it when bands experiment, it takes about as much gumption to stick to one thing (look at AC/DC for instance). And as such, we get an unrelenting assault of metal!

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Final Verdict: 9.5/10

Ever notice that I hadn’t actually rated any albums I reviewed up to this point? Yeah, I don’t know why I haven’t been doing that. In any case, if CONQUEROR was BAND-MAID’s British Steel, then Unseen World is probably going to go down as their Screaming for Vengeance; far better than its predecessor, but likely to be overshadowed by said predecessor since it was their breakthrough (Ohhhh snap). It goes without saying that this is my favorite album of theirs to date, and it definitely hikes up my standard for them moving forward. So yeah, less than half of the post actually talked about the music itself… Oops. Sorry, I’m not good at reviewing a single album like other bloggers I’ve seen.

Disney’s Frog Isekai: Amphibia Season 1 Review

If you’re reading this, then that means I’ve decided to get a bit experimental with my blog. While I would normally review a TV show in its entirety, I decided to review Disney’s Amphibia (created by Matt Braly) season by season. Having already caught up to season two (which was still airing while writing this), I realized how different the show was after season one. So, yeah, let’s hope season three ends up being a drastic tone shift or this idea will end up sucking hardcore.

Amphibia doesn’t beat around the bush, as it starts with its main protagonist, Anne Boonchuy, already in the titular other world, specifically in the town of Wartwood. She runs into a little frog boy named Sprig, and they hit it off pretty quickly. Anne wants to go back home, but instead of trying to haul ass out of there, she kinda just hangs out in Wartwood (hey, another isekai tradition!).

What immediately jumps out (no pun intended) about this isekai is its setting. For starters, almost every animal, from cows to birds, is either a bug or a worm of some kind. Amphibia uses a crap-ton of yellow, blue, and green in its aesthetic that is very appealing. Although the opening sequence shows a massive, lilypad-shaped world, this season is mostly confined to Wartwood. It would be a nice town, except that it’s intentionally not a nice town. The motto is, literally, “Slow to accept, even slower to respect.”

In terms of story, Amphibia operates like most modern cartoons. It starts off with a series of episodic stories, the conflicts of which have absolutely no prior context or foreshadowing, and teaches us an assortment of valuable, American life lessons. As with most shows of its kind, this first season gets us acquainted with the main cast through these Saturday morning cartoon antics. Many of these episodes are extremely predictable if you have experience with this kind of show, and having to see these needless conflicts unfold is about as truly cringe-worthy as any other cartoon.

The biggest hurdle in this season is the cast of the show. I know that no character should be flawless, but the level of smooth-brain in modern cartoon characters makes Patrick Star look like a genius (without the need for brain coral). Anne is perhaps one of my least favorite cartoon protagonists ever. Not only does she continuously make poor judgements regardless of how many lessons she learns, she also loves trashy TV shows, reads clickbaity headlines, and even dabs! DABS! Oh, and a small trigger warning for some people: she hates pineapple pizza. Sprig, on the other hand, is just about as bad (minus the pineapple pizza thing), except he’s a frog. 

At the very least, Polly and Hop Pop end up being the best of the main group. The former is just a tadpole, but she’s a fierce and furious young’un who somehow ends up being the voice of reason. And when Polly’s not the voice of reason, Hop Pop is. He’s your typical “old fart”, but he very much cares for his family. And similar to a certain Grunkle in another show, he’s got some plot-twisting secrets stuffed up his booty. Despite being more tolerable, Hop Pop and Polly end up having their smooth-brain moments because EVERYONE NEEDS TO LEARN THEM ‘MERICAN VALUES!

Similar to Gravity Falls, the locals of Wartwood are quite likeable (even if the town’s slogan says otherwise). From Wally the village weirdo, to the guy who grows tulips, the little stinkhole is full of colorful characters. Even the lousy mayor, Toadstool, ends up being pretty entertaining in a weird way.

As you can expect, the plot decides to kick in for the season finale. It’s not THAT amazing, but it is a good precedent for the stuff that’s to follow. The only weird part about it is what feels like a very out-of-place use of ‘Lean on Me’. But hey, maybe it was meant to be unfitting on purpose.

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Verdict: 7.65/10

Like many-a cartoon, the first season of Amphibia lays the groundwork, and gets you ready for next season with a tone-changing finale. You have to get through a lot of episodic hijinks that you have probably seen before, and since it does the “two short episodes” formula, it’ll feel twice as long even though the season is forgivingly short. From what I’ve seen in the next season, I think it’s worth it… provided you actually enjoy childrens’ cartoons as an adult.

DuckTales 2017: The Reboot I Have Zero Nostalgia For

PREFACE: I know I’m supposed to be on hiatus, but I ended up backed up with way too many posts. I finished THREE more Oz books in this time, plus I decided to review Amphibia by each individual season. I also have a several that have been ready to go for months, but never had the time to publish them. Since I deactivated my Twitter, and don’t even read posts on my Facebook outside of the bands I follow (thank goodness they have a Favorites system), I should have no worries about spoilers for the Attack on Titan finale coming out very soon, especially since the final season of the anime is getting a part two.


Before we begin (Hooray! Another preface!), I have a confession to make. I was a sheltered nineties kid. I never watched Spongebob Squarepants until I was well into middle school because it and other cartoons were too extreme for me (and, well, because I would’ve probably mimicked some of the dangerous cartoon stunts and killed myself). As a result, there were a LOT of popular shows from the late 20th Century through the turn of the 21st Century that I never watched, and would always feel a little disconnected whenever my favorite YouTubers would discuss them at length. I never got to see Dexter’s Laboratory, Powerpuff Girls, Wild Thornberrys, Hey Arnold… and even as a budding Disney fan, I never got to see DuckTales (I was only allowed to watch Mickey’s House of Mouse, among some of the stuff on Disney Jr. back when it was Playhouse Disney). But because I heard good things, I reluctantly dove into the 2017 reboot of DuckTales without any of the nostalgia and prior experience that I would’ve wanted to have going into it. Well, I suppose I can view it OBJECTIVELY then. Oh, by the way, since I know nothing about the old DuckTales or the other ‘90s Disney shows, I don’t know what’s new or old (also, I didn’t bother looking any of it up).

In DuckTales, Donald Duck is unemployed (not surprising). So, he dumps his three nephews onto his rich Uncle, Scrooge McDuck. The guy doesn’t give a rat’s arse about them… at least not until after they end up accompanying him to the lost city of Atlantis. After that, the boys go on all sorts of wild adventures with Scrooge (and plucky girl-duck, Webbey), where all kinds of hilarity ensues.

But it sure doesn’t feel that way sometimes. Similar to Gravity Falls, DuckTales has some semblance of an overarching narrative, but it’s disjointed in season one. Some early episodes end in unresolved cliffhangers, and made me do a double-take a couple of times. Fortunately, once season two starts, it’s practically a straight-up linear narrative, with episodes picking up from where the previous ones left off. Sometimes.

Unfortunately, the context of the thing is also not entirely clear. I figured that, as a reboot, it would have a number of nods and carry-overs from the original show for the sake of being faithful. However, the way everything is all reintroduced leads me to believe it’s a sequel. The villains clearly already know Scrooge, after all. At the same time, it could be a prequel, because it’s established as the first time in a decade that Donald speaks to Scrooge, plus it’s the first time that the triplets see Scrooge at all. Also, Daisy Duck is introduced in Season 3, and it is very apparent that they had never met her before. But then… how do you explain the lack of Webby and others in stuff like Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas? OR MAYBE it’s in a different universe entirely?! Regardless, DuckTales definitely expects you to be acquainted with Donald Duck, his three nephews, and Scrooge McDuck at the very least. If you grew up with a TV, then you probably passed that part.

So, enough about structure… is the SHOW actually any good?! The answer is a resounding “Yes, Definitely, Absolutely!” (Oh wait, wrong show…). DuckTales has the same modern and clever sense of humor that Disney has consistently been able to nail since the start of the 2010s (knowing what audiences find funny is part of being as mainstream as Disney). There are also some great meta commentaries, like the first Darkwing Duck episode, which is a commentary on reboots of popular I.P.s (and a commentary on the show itself as a result). The show also sets out to answer some of the age-old questions surrounding the cast… such as the identity of the triplet’s mother, Della Duck. Additionally, I’m pretty sure that this is the first time in Disney history that they started making fun of Donald’s… er… accent. Unfortunately, there is some melodrama at various points in this series, but it’s a bit more justified than Gravity Falls, as it helps resolve flaws that these beloved characters have had for decades. It’s so weird seeing new developments for these characters who’ve been around for so long… and I love it (and they probably did half of this stuff in the old show).

As expected, DuckTales has a large ensemble of memorable characters. Scrooge is pretty much exactly the same as he always was: daft, yet a freaking bad-ass. Donald is also the same, which I’m not complaining about, because… well… he’s been my favorite out of the three O.G.s for twenty years. I know he can be a big S.O.B., but I dunno, I always loved the guy. Also, whenever he enters his berserker state, it’s a show of force that should place him on any Top Ten Most Powerful Anime Characters list. Like I said before, he gets amazing new character development thanks to the whole Della thing, but you also get inside Donald’s head on a much more intimate level than ever before, and possibly the most in Disney history.

Most surprisingly, the triplets are legitimately enjoyable… at times. Huey, Dewey, and Louie were once all little turds who always caused trouble, but now they’re little turds who always cause trouble while having defined personalities. Huey’s brainy, Dewey’s reckless, and Louie is… er… unchanged. They also must’ve entered puberty, because they actually sound like people instead of high-pitched Donalds. They get great character development that helps resolve their shortcomings, which is why I thought this was a sequel, because they’re definitely turds all the way through in older stuff. Unfortunately, due to the fact that this is a Saturday morning cartoon, it hardly feels like they really grow. Louie can learn to not be a greedy jerk in one episode, but then proceeds to keep being a greedy jerk in another episode. These characters need to have poor judgement, or else… Who can teach our kids important American values?!

In addition to the main ducks, we have some newcomers… I think (this is what happens when you don’t watch the old show!). One of them is Webbey (whose grandmother is swole as all heck, and may or may not be in a doujin with Donald). She is literally Mabel from Gravity Falls (down to having a grappling hook), so I have no complaints here. What I do have complaints about is a girl named Lena that she befriends early on. While I have no problem with her personality, the audience is shown that Lena is in cahoots with one of Scrooge’s old nemeses (who I presume is carried over from the old show?). This results in, yes, an American Dragon-type situation, and if you read my old review of Marissa Meyer’s Renegades, you’d know how I feel about that. (at least that whole arc concludes by the end of season 1). 

Fortunately, there’s always a silver lining, and that lining is Launchpad. He’s basically Soos from Gravity Falls, except even more brawn-over-brain. His dialogue and lovable idioticness is always entertaining. In addition, there’s Scrooge’s kind-of-evil mad scientist, Gyro Gearloose. Gyro has an intern named Fenton, who ends up becoming a tokusatsu hero named Gizmoduck. A ways into season 2, Della does return to the McDuck household. Other than being—pardon my French—a hot mom, she doesn’t have much experience at being a mom, and she has a lot of character development to go through. They also integrate some obscure characters, such as the aforementioned Darkwing Duck, as well as the Three Caballeros, to introduce them to a new generation (and me). 

Unlike Gravity Falls, DuckTales has some great antagonists (Oh snap). Flintheart Glomgold (who I assume is a carryover?) is basically the Scottish villain from Kim Possible combined with Drakken from Kim Possible, making him a fun guy with hilariously over-the-top plans—I mean—schemes. There’s also the Beagle Boys (who are all brothers from a single mother), and Mark Beaks, a living incarnation of social media and clickbait. Oh right, and there’s Magica de Spell, who is just Duck Maleficent.

Disney doesn’t cheap out (well, not always). The animation in DuckTales is fluid, vibrant, and appealing, with a neat, comic book aesthetic. The new designs aren’t as jarring to get used to as the thing that I refer to as “Modern Mouse” (unless you can’t handle Donald’s EDGY, BLACK sailor suit). The instances of CG are pretty obvious, but that’s probably my anime-watching PTSD talking.

~~~~~

Final Verdict: 9.75/10

This version of DuckTales has been fantastic from start to finish. Of course, it’s not perfect, but it’s definitely my favorite Disney Channel program (sorry, Gravity Falls). I recommend it if you want to see classic Disney characters in a new, modern light.

The Me and Music Tag!

Oh, RiseFromAshes, what have you done, by tagging me? You definitely seem interested in the mindf*** that is my music tastes. Well, thanks for the tag! In case you’re new to my blog, you might notice an incredibly simple pattern emerge after the first few prompts. 

Rules

  1. (1) Link back to the original (Sophie @ Me and Ink) so she can see your answers and listen to the tunes.
    1. Oh god, Sophie, you’re going to LISTEN to this stuff? Looking at what she wrote for her own tag, er… Girl, just skip this one. It’s for your mental health.
  2. (2) For every prompt you choose to do, name 1-5 songs (you can use Sophie’s graphics).
  3. (3) Have fun and play your music LOUD!

Well, let’s begin.


For the sake of anonymity, I can’t reveal the exact state I’m from. BUT, since I am from the United States of America, so I figured I’d meet you guys halfway. If you thought I’d answer with ‘Born in the U.S.A.’ by Bruce Springsteen, then… Hi! Welcome to my blog, Weeb Revues, person who’s clearly never read any of my music posts before! 

There are a lot of songs about America, but for the sake of keeping this post shorter than a novella, I’ll only put two. Kansas’ ‘Song for America’ is a nice, long track chronicling the history of my [overly] proud home nation. Something that’s a bit more on the nose is Queensrÿche’s ‘Empire’. It’s a much more accurate portrayal of the U.S. than the ‘Star-Bangled Banner.’


If you weren’t freaked out by my previous entries… then, well, get out your holy water. My music tastes leave little room for love. I could include some Disney musical numbers, which I do love, but that’s not how I roll.

Two more songs come to mind, the first of which is In This Moment’s disgusting power ballad, ‘Sexual Hallucination’ (surprise, surprise, no MV for it), with special guest Brent Smith (I actually don’t know who he is though). It’s a sick, twisted little song that I should hate, yet it’s one of my favorite songs from them. Did you use your holy water yet? If you did, then you should’ve saved it for the other love song: ‘He Is’ by Ghost. It’s a sappy ballad dedicated to none other than Satan. Since I’m an agnostic, it’s no skin off MY nose! Your nose, however… I can’t vouch for that.

Sophie, if you’re actually reading this, then I’m sorry. You should stop now before it gets worse. Yes, it gets worse.


I don’t like dancing. However, I will select some songs that I would dance to if I enjoyed dancing. Fair trade, right? As tempted as I am to bring up Ghost again, I want some variety. Amaranthe has some very danceable metal songs. In fact, the vast majority of their stuff is perfect for dancing. Out of all of them, I feel like ‘Drop Dead Cynical’ is the best one to dance to. There’s something “jamming” about it, I dunno. I’m no dance-ologist, so I could be talking out of my ass here.


If you made it this far, then you’ll at least have some respite here. Since most of the stuff I like isn’t popular enough to be used in film, I will need to rely on music made FOR the film instead. And by that, I mean Disney songs.

I don’t even know if saying I like ‘Let It Go’ from Frozen is a popular opinion or not, since that song getting memed to death garnered some criticism. Well, regardless, I love it, along with ‘Into the Unknown’, ‘Lost in the Woods’, and ‘Show Yourself’ from Frozen 2. I also love most of Moana and The Princess and the Frog‘s soundtrack.

Of course, for the sake of consistency, I’ll end off this segment with something metal. ‘Crazy Train’, the classic Ozzy Osbourne hit that launched his solo career in the 1980s, was randomly used in the movie Megamind for what is likely no reason other than pandering to dads. Hooray, marketing!


What could I possibly put for this prompt? Metal is the exact opposite of calm in every way, after all. Well, fret not, for really talented metal bands can sound just as awesome even if they turn the rev down by a large margin.

The immediate example is an old track from Ritchie Blackmore’s old band, Rainbow. The track in question is called ‘Catch the Rainbow’, and it’s a very slow and strange little mind trip. This was back when they had Ronnie James Dio (a.k.a. one of the greatest singers of all time) on the vocals, and that man was as good of a crooner as he was a shouter. Of course, since it’s so old, there’s no MV to embed. Oh well, saves me some work!


In case it wasn’t obvious, I more-or-less have stopped listening to most of what I liked as a kid. I liked Heart and Journey, but the keyword is “liked” (past tense).

The longest band I have been an ongoing fan of is Rush, the classic prog pioneers. Like a simp, I started with the one everyone started with, at least after 1981’s Moving Picture‘s dropped: ‘Tom Sawyer.’ I don’t know if it’s my favorite Rush song, but it’s still a banger.


Pretty much any and all music from the subgenre of power metal counts for this category. I could write a book called 101 Power Metal Songs to Listen to Before you Die or something. Oh, that basic premise is taken? Nevermind.

The first band that comes to mind is DragonForce, the band behind ‘Through the Fire and Flames’. Or, if you’re a super-weeb, the band with “the guy who streamed with Miku and Kanami from BAND-MAID”. Since their enduring commercial hit overshadows their almost two-decade long career as it is, I’ll bring up one of my favorites of their newer stuff: ‘Tomorrow’s Kings’ (which has no MV to embed, sorry). I don’t know what it’s about, but it sounds vaguely motivational enough, and is one of their most pulse-pounding songs. It’s one of many that I think transcends ‘Through the Fire and Flames’.


I brought up a lot of older stuff up to this point, but to be perfectly frank, I don’t like a lot of older stuff. Unsurprisingly, I don’t really like much of anything in the first half of the Twentieth Century and earlier. In keeping with the spirit of this prompt, I shall give a shout-out to the oldest band that I actively listen to: Black Sabbath.

If you aren’t a metal-headed guru, then you wouldn’t know that they are one of the original pioneers. In terms of sound mixing, they sound dated as f***, but their ambitions are anything but. A lot of household classics, like ‘Iron Man’, are still really good. Oh, and apparently, they have a new edition of their fourth album, Black Sabbath Vol. 4, out this year. Don’t know what’s in it, but uh… buy it, I guess?


I don’t want to be that guy who reminds everyone about how 2020 was “the worst year in human history even though there were many far worse years” …but a lot of things definitely changed for the worse nonetheless, even if you exclude COVID. One example is the fateful day when the #BlackLivesMatter riots, following the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a White police officer (Fun Fact: the chief of police was actually Black but nobody cares about that detail), occurred… It felt like the bridges built by Martin Luther King were single-handedly burned to the ground… 

And I’m going to look like an idiot and a horrible person if Oceans of Slumber’s ‘Pray for Fire’ is not a commentary on that very incident! Let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that it is. I mean, the album it was on came out only months after all that went down, so. In any case, that’s one of the few songs to reduce me to tears. Last year was rough (thanks to the media), and this song was basically pouring lemonade, salt, and sulfuric acid directly into the wound. Oceans of Slumber are experts in making you feel like crap, and this song is one of their best for that reason.

‘The Banished Heart’, a slightly older track by the same band, moves me as well since it sounds vaguely hopeful toward the end. There is one more song that REALLY made me cry buckets when I first heard it, but I’m actually saving it for a future post!


I don’t really have musical obsessions. I believe that everything needs to be enjoyed in moderation, so that stuff doesn’t burn me out. 

Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t have temptations to listen to stuff on repeat. And of all the bands I’m into now, I have the biggest temptation with pretty much every song from Dark Sarah. Since you have a near 100% chance of never having heard of them, allow me to explain. Hailing from Finland, Dark Sarah achieves the impossible union of metal… with musical theater. Yes, they pump out heavy-ass jams with a Phantom of the Opera-like twist, and WHY ISN’T THIS A THING IN DISNEY YET?!

Also, literally a week ago to this day, I just got into a new band: the Viking-themed Brothers of Metal. They’re not even remotely the first band with such a theme, but they’re the ones I picked because, well, that badass name! I just finished their first album, and I’m already hooked. Is there some mistake? 2017’s Prophecy of Ragnarӧk is too good to be their debut. Oh, and yes, one of the members is a woman. DEAL WITH IT.


I’m not that great at lyrics (especially if I’m wrong about the aforementioned Oceans of Slumber song). But in my defense, it’s the interpretation that counts (thanks, Dead Poets Society). I have a number of entries, but I must bring up the discography of Rush first. Their drummer, the late and great Neil Peart, was one of the best lyricists ever. I could write a thesis of different Rush lyrics, and of all of them, I have to post the chorus for ‘Freewill’. It’s a relatable song that deserves to be in the motivational category, and it’s very apt for our “You gotta do what everyone else is doing!” society.

“You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice” / “If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice” / “You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill” / “I will choose above, that’s clear” / “I will choose freewill!”

I also love the lyrics for the pirate-themed metal band, Alestorm. The lyrics so authentically capture the feeling of pirate sea shanties, I always question if I’m listening to a cover. Allow me to include an excerpt from one of their songs:

“Hey, you’re banjaxed!” / “Hey, you’re screwed!” / “And death is coming for you!” / “Trapped on an island, lost at sea!” / “Shipwrecked you’ll cease to be!”

Another song with great lyrics is ‘When the Wild Wind Blows’, one of the more recent tracks from metal veterans Iron Maiden. I think it’s pretty timely, considering the reason behind recent events. Key word: “Think”. I could be reading these damn lines wrong!

“Have you heard what they said on the news today?” / “Have you heard what is coming to us all?” / “That the world as we know it will be comin’ to and end” / “Have you heard? Have you heard?”

Lastly, I’ll bring up a very obscure band that has recently released a massive banger factory last year: Helion Prime. They are power metal, with lyrics influenced by real-world science. Question Everything, the aforementioned banger factory, is a phenomenal album and I highly recommend buying it to support them (and listening to it to). Since it’s Women’s History Month, I’ll include an excerpt from the track ‘Madame Mercury’, which is (probably?) a salute to computer programming pioneer Ada Lovelace. Or NASA engineer Katherine Johnson. Or… well, in this context, all that matters is that it’s about a woman!

“Let’s hear it for the human computer!” / “West area warrior!” / “Pillar of justice and honor” / “Madame Mercury is here to” / “Fight for the dream and” / “take her place in the race to go beyond” / “the stratosphere” / “the highest tier to space!” / “Hold your ground, take a look around” / “It’s in your right to ignite” / “The flame that fuels the mind” / “Do your best, and you will rise!”


Well, this is a conundrum. I, more-or-less, don’t like anything in the charts. Epica’s new album, Omega, is in the charts. However, I’m still playing catch-up with them and I don’t want to skip three whole albums just for this post (it’s called O.C.D., F.Y.I.). Fortunately, Sophie didn’t specify that the choice has to be in the CURRENT charts.

Thanks to Amaranthe’s Facebook page, I learned that their first ever single, ‘Hunger’, actually topped Swedish charts a little over ten years ago (I’m tempted to move to Sweden if their tastes are THAT good…). Compared to the beasts they are now, ‘Hunger’ shows signs of a young, feisty Amaranthe that was still trying to figure itself out. But hey, I still love it.


Honestly, I don’t have many, like, life-based memories associated with a song. I think the first time I heard Iron Maiden’s classic, ‘Run to the Hills’, was back when I made an attempt to have friends as a lad. I actually went to their house (which I would never do now, COVID or no COVID), and watched them play the hip new XBox game, Rock Band. ‘Run to the Hills’ was on there, and I thought it was a really good song. But thanks to me ol’ mum, I wouldn’t get to listen to Iron Maiden in earnest for twelve more years. That’s a lot of buildup for a band!


I hate singing. I don’t know about you, but I wanted to smash my face into a window whenever we had to sing Americana songs in music class in grade school. So, generally, no matter how much I like a song, I will never sing it. I’m also bad at memorizing lyrics to even my favoritest songs (in case you couldn’t tell from me not knowing what Oceans of Slumber’s ‘Pray for Fire’ is about). 

But if I can memorize lyrics, I tend to mumble them at times. Remember Ghost? Thanks to their combination of disco, metal, and the occult, I find their lyrics to be some of the easiest to commit to memory. But in case you couldn’t tell, not all of them should be sung in a public place. ‘From the Pinnacle to the Pit’ and ‘Rats’ are fine, but I would get exorcised on the spot if I dared break out into the chorus of ‘Monstrance Clock’.


Honestly, I tend to go into artists expecting to like them. However, there are some times where I liked something more than I thought I would. UNPOPULAR OPINION ALERT! For instance, I kinda-sorta like the newer music of Evanescence more than their older stuff. I felt like they had the same angst as before, but with more class to it. I didn’t expect to like them at all, and the fact that I listened to the pre-released tracks for The Bitter Truth is… actually, I don’t know how I should feel about that.

Beyond that, though, I was legitimately bamboozled by In This Moment. The beauty of listening to bands in order is to see them change in a time-lapse-photography-y manner. I imagine most people started with Blood or Black Widow. But I went through their very normal-sounding first three albums first. And when I got to Blood’s titular track, I was hoodwinked. The change in style was one thing, but the other factor was that it sounded like a song from Slipknot, one of my least favorite bands of all time. Of course, since I brought up the lewd song with Brent Smith before, ‘Blood’ won’t exactly catch you off guard. Hooray, context sensitivity!


I can’t name an all-time favorite album! Aaaaaaah! I can’t even name several of my favorite albums, since this post would be double its current length. As such, I’ll just name my favorite album from one band I haven’t discussed at this point. 

The band in question is one of the most enduring (and still active) metal bands: Judas Priest. If metal was a religion, vocalist Rob Halford would be its god (since that’s, you know, his stage name). Since I’m me, my favorite album is not British Steel. No, it’s not Screaming for Vengeance

It’s their newest album, Firepower. 1990’s Painkiller was my favorite for several years, until I listened through all of Firepower. The album is, well, pretty much perfect. It’s classic Priest, but made with the experience one would gain by writing metal music for—at the time—forty-eight years. It’s too good for its own good! (F.Y.I. the below MV is of one of the tracks from the album since the titular track didn’t have one)


I hate music videos. “Hate” is not a word I use lightly. I think music videos are stupid, to be perfectly frank. I haven’t even watched a single MV that I’ve embedded up to this point (hope they actually worked). And I’m not judging something without the experience; I’ve watched a fair share of them. They weren’t so bad when they started out. It was a new field, and while they were stupid, they were corny enough to have a charm to them. But nowadays, with advancements in technology, they’re just as corny, but take themselves so much more seriously. We go from one half of the screen showing the performer and the other half being a sideways close-up of his lips, to the band performing in a warehouse while they spam particle effects and seizure-inducing jump cuts. And holy f***, don’t get me started on AC/DC’s ‘Realize’ video, where they decided to do the whole thing with a fisheye lens for some reason.

But in the spirit of the post, I tried to hastily come up with at least two remotely decent MVs to show. The first one is of ‘The Surprising’, one of the newer tracks from the classic hard rock band, Deep Purple. The video is done entirely in 2D animation, and I actually liked it. Although it reuses a lot of assets, it has a very interesting art style, and is chock full of references to the various album covers throughout their career. One of the best parts is that there really isn’t too much going on in it, unlike most music videos that hate people with epilepsy.

The other enjoyable video I found was another 2D animation: Disturbed’s cover of the Genesis hit, ‘Land of Confusion’. The artstyle is kind of “Don Bluth meets anime” and has a lot of that 2000s edge culture in it. It’s also “much more relevant today than it was then because I only pay attention to the media and politics at face value and none of the actually good things that happen in the world.” 


Conclusion

Wow, this was the longest tag I’ve ever done. At least I don’t have to tag eighty people; I can decide the amount. I tend to tag the same people over and over again, but I think I’ll give them a break. I’m going to tag some WordPress bloggers who are deeper in the metal hole than me!

…Is what I would say if I actually found ones that weren’t just news! I found two that consistently posted reviews, but other than that, I suppose I WILL be nominating the same people over and over again!

With all that said and done, it’s time for my first major hiatus! I’m taking a break from the Internet just to make sure that I do not get spoiled of the Attack on Titan manga finale next month, especially since it’s possible that the anime will actually end before the manga. My next post will be a review of Attack on Titan, so look forward to that!

Raya and the Last Dragon: Disney’s Equivalent of Dr. Stone

If anything good came out of the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s that movie studios have started streaming premieres. And one quarter into 2021,with the vaccine still underway (which is totally necessary and definitely not a moneymaking scheme), it looks like they’re going to keep at it. At least Disney is, because Raya and the Last Dragon IS STREAMING ON DISNEY+ WITH PREMIER ACCESS AND I GOT TO WATCH IT AT FIVE IN THE MORNING! Let’s effing GO with this review!

In Raya and the Last Dragon, we are taken to the formerly great realm of Kumandra. There was a big plague called the coronav—I mean—the Droon, which turned people to stone. When the titular last dragon, Shisudato, used some gem thing to imprison the Droon, people went batshit crazy over it, and divided Kumandra. When the Droon is unleashed once more (because of course it would be), Raya has to find the last dragon and fix the MacGuffin.

Since the turn of the 21st Century, Disney has had a track record of making several movies that adhere to their traditional “movie musical” formula, then breaking it up with something darker, more violent, and with no singing. Raya is the latest in the latter part of the equation. The world here is effed up beyond belief. Everywhere she goes, there’s strife and discourse. 

It’s also cynical, very cynical. Raya, narrating the opening exposition, straight-up says that the fighting over the gem started because of “people being people”, as if humans are born evil (instead of being influenced by lousy parents and the media). There’s a load of Top Ten Anime Betrayals, just to shape what a hopeless mess everything is.

As I said before, Raya is also quite violent. There’s martial arts, swordfighting, and more throughout the movie. But compared to Atlantis and Treasure Planet, Raya is perhaps one of the most anime Disney movies ever; probably more than Big Hero 6. There’s crazy jump-cuts, parkour, and a sword that’s also a grappling hook. 

Anyway, since American cinema just HAS to be influenced by its social climate, Raya is more about racism than the coronav—I mean—the Droon. Sure, the actual source of the conflict, in the context of the movie, is greed or whatever, but that’s just what you call “subtlety”. Throughout the movie, there’s a consistent theme of “Hey maybe if we just shut up and talk to each other”, which Raya ignores, and resorts to violence instead. It’s a symbolic, hopeful message that more-or-less applies to every problem that humanity has had with itself. But of course, considering what happened last year (and the fact that constantly talking about the issue of racism is why it’s still ongoing), even Disney should know that it’s not THAT simple. 

But of course, it’s a Disney movie. Even their darker animated features adhere to the usual traditions to an extent. If you have experience with their filmography, then you know how Raya will turn out, start to finish. It tries to be grimdark, but it still has the marketable mascot, along with explosive diarrhea beetles and kung-fu babies. Also, there’s still humor, even though it’s all dark and stuff.

Keeping all that in mind… I’m just gonna be frank: I LOVE THIS MOVIE. It goes completely off the rails in every way. There is personality injected into every single shot. Honestly, it’s redundant having to keep reiterating Disney’s unique attention to detail when it comes to animation. I’m just going to put that paragraph here, since I’m sick of making a separate one for it. Anyway, the movie is gorgeous yadda-yadda, it’s Disney.

Normally, I resent most of the characters in anything, but not this time (what a surprise!). Raya herself is a fierce, but still relatable, young girl who fits almost too perfectly with the current month (Disney, are you being P.C.?). She has a real arc where she’s all like, “Distrust and violence will never end bleeeeeeh”, and inevitably has to learn how life actually works (and by “life”, I mean that sentimental crap that’s in those hopelessly optimistic self-help books that aren’t The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (which you should buy because it’s really good)).

Raya finds Shisu very early on, and good thing, since Shisu is Best Girl. She has a lot of the funnier lines in the movie, and is a hopeless optimist who clashes with Raya’s mindset. The two also gain a number of really lovable allies,of wildly varying age ranges. I kinda don’t want to talk about any of them, just so you can experience them for yourself. Unfortunately, the weakest character in the movie is the mascot, Tuk Tuk. Eff that thing. Disney, just stop making these, please. You already reached the zenith of mascot with Hei-Hei from Moana; there’s no point in making any more!

Last, but definitely not least, is Nemari, with her Cammie Gilbert hairdo. Disney movies might have abandoned villains, but they haven’t abandoned antagonists. Like a lot of characters in the movie, Nemari loves her people and wants to protect them from the Droon. She’s just about as much of a badass as Raya is. But sadly, her character arc is quite predictable, if you have experience.

~~~~~

Final Verdict: 9.1/10

Raya and the Last Dragon is a really great movie. It has definitely and absolutely dethroned Atlantis: The Lost Empire as my favorite of the darker variations of Disney animated features. It might go over your young ‘uns heads, but since this generation is being forced to become adults overnight (thanks COVID), Raya will probably help them with that transition instead. It goes without saying that any diehard Disney fans should watch it, just for the sake of completion (and the fact that it’s a banger of a film). 

Five Great Women in Metal in No Particular Order

It’s Women’s History Month once more, and every year, I am peeved at a very blatant bias regarding the specific women who are honored throughout the month. Sure, I get it’s Women’s HISTORY Month, and they have to prioritize, you know, HISTORICAL figures. But when it comes to this current generation of female entertainment figures, they always choose people like Taylor Swift, Alex Morgan, Beyoncé, etc.; all popular, inherently appealing, and mainstream. No thanks. In order to even the playing field, I’m going to give a shout-out to several women who aren’t so saintly. I’m talking about women in the most “manly” musical genre: metal. I might not be as powerful as, you know, the media, but hopefully one young girl who gets made fun of for not playing with Barbie dolls will read this and feel better about herself.

But before we start, I need to say some things regarding the content of the post. I only came up with the idea a couple days ago, so—to be brutally, brutally honest—this post will feel a bit rushed. It’s not as big of a deal, since I would be hard-pressed to research most of my entries, as they are from a more niche industry. Also, I would be expected to post pictures of each person as I introduce them. Well, I won’t be doing that for two reasons. The first reason is that I don’t know the copyright restrictions when it comes to official promotional photos versus, say, a post that they publish on their own social media accounts. And the second reason is that I personally don’t feel comfortable Google Image searching a single, living, breathing person. I know that they would expect such a thing, but as a grown man, I don’t want to come off as a stalker. Anyways, how about I stop beating around the bush and actually contribute already?!

Oh, and RiseFromAshes, you might just get a preview of what I’m going to write about in the Music and Me Tag that I’m going to post about next Saturday! Yipee!


Brittney Slayes

I’m starting off with someone who’s quickly become one of my favorite singers of all time. Brittney Slayes is the lead vocalist from Unleash the Archers, a power metal band from Canada. She’s so darn good, I’ve wondered if they digitally alter her voice (I’ve never seen them live, so…). Her voice goes so deep, I know men who sound more tenor than that! And when she shouts… hoo boy, it feels like a volcanic eruption! If you’re curious, check out Unleash the Archers for yourself!


Maria Brink

Before I go over Maria Brink, the vocalist of In This Moment, I need to discuss one of my least favorite singers of all time: Corey Taylor from Slipknot. In case you didn’t read my old rundown of several early 2000s bands, I shall reiterate that I think Taylor is a frat-boy in a middle-aged man’s body. His combination of angsty crooning, whiny shouting, and his attempts at sounding emotionally disturbed made me laugh more than anything.

By comparison, Maria Brink is more-or-less female Corey Taylor in the way she sings. And yet, I love her? She does everything Taylor can do, only better. I’m not even being Feminist. I just really love her singing, despite the fact that I shouldn’t. If you wanna know just how demonic she sounds, check out In This Moment. Just be forewarned that she doesn’t show her true colors until their fourth album, Blood.


Elize Ryd

Amaranthe seems to be one of those bands that’s wildly popular closer to where they’re from, and more-or-less unknown everywhere else. You probably don’t even know what Amaranthe is, which is perfectly legit (and that also implies you’re from the U.S. where they pretty much don’t exist). They are a Swedish metal band that incorporates pop elements in a way that somehow still sounds metal, and I love them.

Anyway, let’s actually talk about the actual person sometime this century. Since you are so likely to not know about Amaranthe, I must explain that they have three dedicated vocalists, all with different styles. And, well, there’s a good reason that Elize Ryd is the sole original vocalist left in the lineup. That woman basically has a party that erupts from her throat whenever she performs. Ryd is just an all-around great singer.


Simone Simons

I was hesitant to include Simone Simons from Epica. It’s not an issue of whether or not I admire her, but apparently, the band’s new album has placed in the top ten in charts from all over the world, even America. So clearly, Epica is popular enough as it is!

Well, gotta talk about popular stuff sometime (and also, she’s still less popular than a lot of women today). What makes Simons stand out in metal is that she doesn’t sing in a style suitable for the genre whatsoever; she sings opera-style. Despite this clash, her beautiful voice somehow suits the very metal style of Epica to a tee. In fact, I can’t imagine the band without her. Hooray for not having to be completely masculine in order to still be an empowered woman!


Sharon Osbourne

There’s a number of articles about great women in metal, so I had to throw a curveball to try and stand out from the rest (hopefully this is an actual curveball). As such, my last entry is Sharon Osbourne, a woman who is not a member in any metal band whatsoever. What makes her qualify for this post?

In case her surname didn’t catch your eye, I should inform you that Sharon is the wife of the legendary metal pioneer himself, Ozzy Osbourne. Anyone who has a vague idea of what Ozzy’s life has been like would know that Sharon was the most important person in his life. In fact, she more-or-less saved his life and his career. Her father owned Ozzy’s label at the time. However, her dad was a bit of an ass. And to quickly sum up, she basically flipped off her own father and became Ozzy’s support. He would not be alive if it weren’t for her. That’s a fact.


Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed this hastily cobbled together post. I had fun writing it, and I kind of want to write another one next year. The problem is that while there are certainly more than enough women in metal—a lot of which get even less attention than the ones I wrote about—I only have so much time to juggle so many bands. In the off chance I try to make this a yearly tradition, I’d probably have to reduce the amount of people to three. I currently have enough left for a couple more years (double that if more than two members of Lovebites made their surnames public). I’d love some feedback on this post and whether or not you’d like to see more!

Weeb Reads Monthly January and February 2021

I didn’t think I’d have to lump multiple months together AGAIN. Geez! Only two volumes (excluding debuts) piqued my interest in January; nowhere near enough to put it in a Weeb Reads Monthly. So, here we are. Hooray for being relevant.


WATARU!! Volume 2

Holy crap!!! Another volume of the masterpiece, WATARU!!! …said no one except for me. MyAnimeList doesn’t exactly have a page for this series, and I haven’t read any reviews on WordPress, if there are any. But honestly, I can say with full confidence that I’m in the minority in loving WATARU!!! I mean, it’s so simple and superficial with no story; all violations of the arbitrary rules of good literature!!!

But if you are one of my fellow uncultured swine and love the first volume of WATARU!!!, then the second volume is just as good. There’s more insane hijinks and meta-humor than ever. They also introduce a new character named Elphabell. It seems like she could become a yandere in the future, but she’s not even remotely as insane as Best Girl Aria. According to the afterword, WATARU!!! isn’t too successful, which kinda sucks. Light novels can get axed just as easily as manga, so there’s a chance that this could be the end.

Verdict: 9.65.10


The Bloodline Volume 2

“Wait, why’d you use the first volume’s cover as the thumbnail?” you ask. Well, for whatever reason—be it the licensing or the artist being lazy—the cover of the second volume is just a zoom-in of the first cover!

In any case, my feelings for the volume are mixed. The first half is slow and boring, with a lot of uninteresting dialogue. There’s a really contrived development, thanks to Nagi being smooth-brained, and a ridiculously predictable Top Ten Anime Betrayal. The ending of the volume has a clever twist, but… there’s a chance that this is the end of the whole series. BookWalker doesn’t say “Completed” or anything, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the series is ongoing. I admit I’m curious about what could happen moving forward, but it’s just as likely that it’s over. If it is, then I’ll just say that The Bloodline had some good ideas marred by boring writing.

Verdict: 7.25/10


Konosuba Volume 13

I was concerned about Konosuba slowly falling apart, and honestly, I might be correct. The first half of this volume is almost the same as the first half of volume twelve: more shipping war stuff. As much as I love these characters, their interactions are getting incredibly redundant, and this is coming from someone who loves One Piece. The second half of the volume concerns Wiz, and this guy stalking her. The way it turns out is as silly as you can expect. But at this point, it’s obvious that the endgame plot is looming and it’s just a matter how long the author can beat around the bush leading up to it.

Verdict: 8.25.10


Do You Love Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target Attacks?! Volume 8

The first thing you see when you open up this volume is a group of idol moms. Despite how silly that first impression is, this is actually the most emotional volume yet! If you recall from last time, we learned that Porta is the Fourth Heavenly King of the Libere Rebellion. To be honest, it should’ve been obvious, since we’ve strangely never seen her mother.

Fortunately, that gets rectified in this volume! The mastermind behind the whole thing is actually Porta’s mom, who is also one of the key devs behind the game world. Porta feels obligated to join the Libere Rebellion, despite the fact that her mom seems to be a real b****. Ahhhhh, familial bonds!

The theme explored today is independence. In fact, that’s the whole reason behind the Libere Rebellion itself. Porta’s mom hardcore believes in the philosophy of letting the child grow entirely on their own. And as such, we learn of the point that every mom has to deal with: when to let their kids go. Overall, it’s a perfect storm of emotion and humor, making this my favorite volume up to this point. One concern I have, however, is that this is pretty much the end of the Libere Rebellion plot thread, yet the series is confirmed to have three remaining volumes. After the cliffhanger ending, I can’t imagine how it would go beyond a ninth volume.

Verdict: 9.25/10


ROLL OVER AND DIE Volume 2

This volume immediately begins with a discussion between several high-ranking demons, where we get more context for the series’ lore and the purpose of those crazy Uzumaki things. After that, Flum stumbles upon some strange child named Ink, who raises even more intrigue. 

The main conflict of this volume revolves around Dein Phineas being an ass, as well as the church’s latest monstrosity attacking the town. I’m not even going to describe this calamity, but it follows in the last volume’s footsteps by being incredibly effed up and gruesome. The ridiculous part of the scenario is that the church’s evilness is so well known that even the nuns acknowledge it. This series is really ham-fisted on dissing Catholicism, which I’m okay with as an agnostic, but some subtlety would be nice.

Verdict: 9.75/10

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Conclusion

When it comes to light novels, this is definitely a great start to 2021 (*insert pretentious and not-at-all overstated comment about how it’s better than last year even though nothing’s changed here*). Since I’m going to take a month’s hiatus in early March in order to avoid Attack on Titan finale spoilers, I’ll be lumping March and April’s posts into one. Hooray for that!